Dear Queenie,
I attend the Methodist church and have done so for years. I love my faith. I love the structure, the hymns, the community, the teaching. It is home to me. But I am also single. Most of the men in my congregation are either elderly or married. I am at a stage in my life where I genuinely want a partner – not casually, not experimentally, but seriously. I want to build something. I have suggested to our church elders that we host a social evening for singles across all Methodist congregations on the island. Nothing inappropriate. Just a gathering. A space to connect. They laugh. They say, “Leave that to God.” They focus programming on couples’ ministries, marriage seminars, family retreats. I sit there feeling invisible. I do not want to abandon my church. I believe in the Methodist way. But I also don’t want to limit my chances of meeting someone because I am waiting patiently in pews where everyone is already paired off. Is it wrong to consider visiting other churches, not for doctrine, but for opportunity? Or does that make my faith look shallow? —Faithful, But Still Single
Dear Faithful, But Still Single,
Let me begin with this: wanting partnership does not make your faith shallow. It makes you human. Church is a place for worship, growth, and community. It is not a dating prison. You have already done something admirable, you spoke up. You suggested a singles gathering. You saw a need and offered an idea. The laughter you received says more about their comfort zone than your intention. “Leave it to God” is often used as a spiritual way of saying, “Let’s not change anything.” Faith does not require stillness. Scripture is full of movement. People journeyed. They relocated. They crossed borders. They stepped out. God rarely met anyone who was sitting indefinitely in one place waiting. You love the Methodist way. Good. That is your foundation. But attending a different church occasionally does not equal abandoning your doctrine. It is expanding your community. There is a difference between church hopping for entertainment and visiting other congregations with intention. One is restless. The other is proactive. If your current environment does not meet a very real life-stage need, you are allowed to supplement it. God can guide your steps, but you must take them. Continue serving where you are planted if you wish. Continue loving your tradition. But do not shrink your social world out of misplaced loyalty to routine. You are not betraying your faith by widening your circle. Sometimes prayer is answered by movement. —Queenie
