Dear Queenie,
When I was in my teens I had a baby for a boy I loved very much, but he soon disappeared from our lives. All the time our daughter was growing up he never tried to see her and never gave me any support money.
I have heard he is living on another island nearby, but I never see him although sometimes someone mentions to me that they have seen him or that he is visiting relatives here, but never me or our daughter.
I asked her once when she was a teenager if she would like to meet him and she said, “No way. He doesn’t want me and I don’t want him.” But now I am thinking that it might be good for her to meet him.
Queenie, should I try to get them together?—Single mom
Dear Single mom,
You don’t say how old your daughter is now, but I understand from what you have written that she is all grown up and quite able to decide for herself. If she wants to meet her father, she will surely ask you about him.
If he should show any interest in her at this late date, you can ask her whether she is willing to meet him, but you should not be the one to start the ball rolling. In short, butt out, Mom.
