Dear Queenie,
In another advice column I read a letter about a little girl 13 years old who wanted to start dating boys her age and the columnist advised her mother to let her start dating but to keep a close eye on what was going on.
I did not agree with some of that advice. Why? Because I am 20 years old. I wouldn’t let my daughter date guys at that age. Thirteen years old is very young. I don’t say that she can’t have any friends, but keep it there right now, no relationships at all.
She has to study her lessons. That doesn’t mean that she can’t have fun, but she has to focus on what she should be doing. She must try and make something out of herself. I find the mother very right about her. I think the girl has to try to focus more on her school.
Queenie, I also think that the mother needs to talk more with her.—Second opinion
Dear Second opinion,
If you will go back and read the girl’s letter again you will see that she was not asking to have a relationship or to start dating, but just to be allowed to have a friend who is a boy and for her parents to meet him and get to know him.
If you are only 20 years old you are young enough to remember what it felt like to be 13. Telling a girl that age not to be interested in boys is like telling the tide not to come in. But certainly at that age she needs adult supervision, and she was not trying to avoid it. Rather, she was asking her mother to let her take the first steps toward growing up, under her parents’ watchful eyes.
Thanks for writing.
