Dear Queenie,
My husband has two personalities. There is Responsible Weekday Man, up at 6 a.m., disciplined, serious about work, complains about noise. And then there is Regatta Man.
Regatta Man owns boat shoes he only wears once a year. Regatta Man suddenly knows every sailor by first name. Regatta Man drinks like he’s 22 and dances like no one is recording (but everyone is). Regatta Man insists we must “support the event properly.”
We are not sailors. We do not own a boat. We barely own matching beach towels. Yet for four days, he transforms into some kind of maritime ambassador. Last year he came home sunburned, hoarse, and financially confused. This year he has already blocked off the days and informed me we are “living life.” Here’s my problem: I actually like Regatta. I like the music, the buzz, the island alive with energy. But I do not like babysitting a grown man who forgets his limits. Am I supposed to just let him have his one wild weekend? Or is it fair to expect moderation during “the biggest event of the year”? —Married to Regatta
Dear Married to Regatta,
First, let me reassure you: your husband is not alone. Regatta Man appears annually across the island, often in boat shoes that have seen no actual deck time. There is something about Regatta that awakens dormant maritime fantasies. Men who cannot tie a proper sailor’s knot suddenly speak fluently about wind direction. Accountants become captains. Office managers become crew. It is, in its own way, charming. Island events like Regatta give adults permission to temporarily suspend responsibility. The music is louder. The days are longer. The rum is persuasive. For four days, everyone feels slightly younger and slightly more interesting. That said, “living life” does not require living recklessly. You are not unreasonable for wanting a version of Regatta that does not involve financial amnesia, medical-grade sunburn, or supervising a man who insists he is “fine” while swaying. The key is pre-Regatta negotiation. Before the boat shoes come out, have a calm conversation. Agree on a budget. Agree on transport home. Agree on limits. When expectations are discussed before the first drink, they are easier to honour after the third. And consider this: instead of babysitting Regatta Man, join him, strategically. Enjoy the music. Set your own pace. Leave when you choose. Adults can attend the same event without sharing the same stamina. Regatta only comes once a year. So does this particular version of your husband. Let him have some wind in his sails, just make sure the anchor is still firmly attached at home. And perhaps hide the credit card. —Queenie
