Dear Queenie,
I need to understand the rules of supermarket reunions in Sint Maarten. I was recently shopping in Sunny Food Supermarket and needed something from an aisle that was already a little tight. Two women apparently hadn't seen each other in a while. Wonderful. They stopped to greet each other. Also wonderful. Unfortunately, they parked their shopping carts side by side across the aisle before beginning what appeared to be a complete review of everything that had happened since their last meeting. Children. Husbands. Work. Who moved away. Who came back. Somebody's operation. Somebody else's child who "get so big!" Meanwhile, I am standing behind them with my cart. Another shopper approaches from the opposite direction. We make eye contact. We are trapped. I say: "Excuse me." One woman moves her cart approximately two inches. Not enough for anyone to pass. Conversation continues. Another: "Excuse me, please." This time they look at us with the mild irritation of people whose private reunion is being disturbed by strangers. Queenie, we are in the supermarket! Eventually one moves enough for us to squeeze through. I thought that was the end. Two aisles later... THEY WERE THERE AGAIN. They had relocated the reunion! Same carts. Same blockade. New topic. At this point I wanted to abandon my groceries and go home. I understand Sint Maarten is small. You cannot go anywhere without seeing someone you know. But must every chance encounter become a roadblock? Queenie, what is the proper etiquette when two people have converted the supermarket aisle into their front porch? —Just Trying to Reach the Cornflakes
Dear Just Trying to Reach the Cornflakes,
Ah, yes. The Sint Maarten Supermarket Reunion. A cultural phenomenon requiring two shopping carts, at least one: "GIRLLLLL, where you been?!" and absolutely no awareness that other human beings require access to the evaporated milk. The problem is not the conversation. On a small island, the supermarket is practically a social network with groceries. You will see former co-workers. Cousins. Neighbours. People you haven't seen since school. Someone who knows your mother and therefore requires a full report on her health. That's island life. But there is one sacred rule: MOVE THE CART. Talk! Catch up! Find out who married whom and why nobody told you. But pull over. A supermarket aisle operates under roughly the same principle as a road. If you wish to stop, move out of traffic. What your ladies created was essentially the grocery equivalent of two drivers stopping next to each other on Bush Road, lowering their windows and having a conversation while everybody behind them starts blowing horn. And your first "excuse me" was sufficient. You do not need to stand there becoming increasingly British about it: "Excuse me." "Sorry." "Could I possibly..." No. Try: "Ladies, I need to pass, please." Friendly. Clear. Then advance. They will move. And if they relocate the summit to another aisle? At that point, Queenie recommends reconnaissance. Peek around the corner before entering. If you see the two carts positioned horizontally again, reverse quietly and approach the cornflakes from the other side. Because in Sunny Food, sometimes the shortest distance between you and your groceries... depends entirely on who hasn't seen whom in a long time. —Queenie
