Dear Queenie,
My mother retired and went on pension recently and now she spends a lot of time at our house and it’s driving my wife nuts.
Mom is always trying to “help” by doing things around the house. The problem is she only wants to do things the way she is used to doing them, never mind how my wife wants things to be. She reorganises our cupboards and closets and does chores that the children are supposed to do, like making their own beds.
My wife is mad at her for interfering and she is mad at my wife for not appreciating her “helping.” But what she is really doing is interfering with our rules for the children and making more work for us because we can’t ever find things after she has put them away her way.
Queenie, how can we get her to relax and enjoy being retired? — Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
Have a talk with your mother and explain that you are trying to teach the children to take some responsibility and her “helping” is preventing that from happening. As for the “reorganising,” try to be patient and learn her system of putting things away.
You might also encourage her to use her energy doing volunteer work with her church or a community service organisation. That way she will develop new interests, make new friends and spend less time at your house – and thus less time “helping” your wife.
