Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have been thru Hell in 2017 with my young adult daughter and her psychotic boyfriend.
He is abusive, sneaky, controlling and can't seem to find a job for a whole year. He uses the two-month-old baby as his passport to her. He apologises every time to us, only to repeat the same crap all the time, from threats to unlawful entry, trespassing on the roof to her bedroom window, to hijacking her car, you name it. I have the 2017 record for 911 calls.
All of that happened, yet my daughter still finds her way back to this jerk. It is the grace of God why I am preventing my husband from taking him out.
Queenie, what more does it take for her to wake up and walk away?—Exhausted mother
Dear Mother,
Has it occurred to you that the reason your daughter stays with “this jerk” is that he has threatened her and/or her baby with physical harm if she even tries to break up with him?
However, I think you also have another problem if your husband is voicing threats against your daughter’s boyfriend. And if he is, and he often talks like this when he is angry about anything, it could be at least part of the reason your daughter is so accepting of her boyfriend’s behaviour – she could have come to consider her relationship with him perfectly normal.
As I told “Worried grandmother” on Monday, January 8, Safe Haven (office 9277; 24-hour hotline number: 9333 or (721) 523-6400; e-mail address This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or Facebook: SafeHavenSt.Maarten) can give you and your daughter advice and assistance in dealing with an abusive relationship.
