Dear Queenie,
My son and daughter-in-law have 5 children already and now I found out they are trying for number 6. I help them out every day with housework and childcare because they can’t afford to hire anybody and I have even helped them financially on occasion, even though I can’t afford very much.
I tried to convince them that 5 is more than enough but they refuse to listen to me.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Exhausted grandma
Dear Exhausted,
You can stop helping them out so much. To start with, no more financial assistance. Just say “no,” and tell them you simply cannot afford it.
Then cut back drastically on the time you spend helping with housework and caring for the kids. Tell them you are simply exhausted, your doctor has recommended a certain amount of bed rest. And stick to your decision.
If you stop making things easier for your son and his wife perhaps they will realise that they already have all the children they can manage to handle – or they will figure out how to manage without leaning on you.
