Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I have been together for several years and now we have a new baby together and that’s just wonderful.
The problem is that we also have her son and daughter from her previous relationship living with us and they are totally disrespectful to both of us and she refuses to correct them because she is afraid if she does they will want to go live with their father.
Queenie, how can I get her to understand that this is not right?—Angry stepdad
Dear Stepdad,
The real problem is that children need discipline, which these children are not getting. If you cannot make your girlfriend understand this, professional counselling might help. And if that does not work, you might consider whether you really want to stay with her, and taking the baby with you when you leave (which might just be a wakeup call for the baby’s rather negligent mother).
Actually, it might not be so bad if the older children go to live with their father, at least for a while. It is quite possible that he would crack down on them and teach them some manners, and if not, he would be the one to suffer from their behaviour, not you.
