Dear Queenie,
The elderly man who lives next door to me has a habit of sunbathing nude in his backyard. His wife died recently and he didn’t ever do this while she was alive so I guess she wouldn’t let him, but now that she is gone there is no one to stop him from doing it. I guess he thinks nobody can see him (and I wish I couldn’t) or maybe he’s getting senile and needs someone to look after him,
Queenie, should I try to do something about it or just not look?—Offended neighbour
Dear Neighbour,
You could put an anonymous note in your neighbour’s mailbox, but if your house is the only one from which he can be seen sunbathing, he will know it comes from you.
If he has any relatives you know you could mention it to them and suggest they take action before he gets in legal trouble or, if this is a symptom of dementia, before his condition gets worse. If you do not know any relatives of his, you could mention it to an appropriate community organisation like the Red Cross, or in St. Maarten the White Yellow Cross Care Foundation for them to look into the matter.
Meanwhile, put curtains or a shade over the window(s) from which you can see him and just do not look toward his yard.
Dear Queenie,
My husband was much older than I am. His children used to introduce me to people as “Dad’s wife” because I am only a few years older than they are.
Now that he has passed away they do not know how to refer to me. “Stepmother” does not seem right because we are so close to the same age.
Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—His widow
Dear Widow,
My condolences on your loss.
They could refer to you as “Dad’s widow” or “my late father’s wife” or simply by your name, with explanations about the relationship coming later.
Dear Queenie,
My brother owns a shop and for his birthday he gave my son a gift card for the shop he owns.
Queenie, was this in bad taste?—Just wondering
Dear Just wondering,
If your son likes the merchandise your brother sells, no, not any more than a gift of cash or a cheque would have been.
Dear Queenie,
I’m planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me and I’m wondering if I should buy an engagement ring to give her when she says “yes”, or take her afterwards to buy one together so she can choose the one she wants.
Queenie, what do you say?—Fiancé-to-be (I hope!)
Dear Fiancé-to-be,
I suggest you visit a jeweller before you pop the question and ask them to set aside several rings in the price range you can afford. Then, if she says “yes”, you can take her to choose the one she likes best, and if she says “no” you will not get an expensive as well as unpleasant surprise.
Dear Queenie,
I’m going to be in high school next year and I haven’t ever had a girlfriend yet, but I know a lot of girls and I care about all of them.
Queenie, when I have a girlfriend, will that mean I have to stop caring about other girls?—Young teenager
Dear Teenager,
There are different degrees of love. When you are ready for a serious relationship, your feelings for that one woman will be much stronger than the feelings you have for girls now, and your feelings then for any other woman. And until that happens, you will not be ready to settle down with just one woman.
