Dear Queenie,
When I lost my job I had to move back in with my parents. I have 2 grownup brothers who also live there. One is living there too and the other is a drug addict and they both depend on our parents for everything, but our parents treat them like they are perfect angels.
My problem is that both brothers pick on me and give me a hard time because I asked my parents for help and our parents don’t even try to stop them, in fact sometimes my parents seem to agree with them.
Queenie, how can I defend myself?—Youngest son
Dear Son,
Your brothers pick on you because it makes them feel better about themselves and your parents go along with it because they expect you will soon be doing better and moving out, while they will still have to deal with your older brothers.
Pay no attention to your brothers, ask your parents to treat you at least a little better, and try to arrange to move out as soon as possible.
Dear Queenie,
I like to watch TV with my wife, but lots of the time she is tired from a long day’s work and falls asleep.
Queenie, is there any etiquette rule about this kind of thing?—TV Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
There is no rule about this, and as long as the sleeper doesn’t snore and disturb the one who is awake I do not see any problem. You can go on watching, or turn the TV off, tuck the sleeper in, and go do something else.
Dear Queenie,
I have a good beautician and my hair looks very natural, but the color is not what I was born with. If someone compliments me on my looks, do I have to tell them I am not a natural blonde?
My best friend is a natural blonde and she says I should tell people my hair color is fake.
Queenie, what do you say?—Born brunette
Dear Born brunette,
Apparently your friend is jealous of the compliments you receive. Suggest to her that she patronise your beautician too.
Dear Queenie,
A few years ago, after we were married for many years, my wife found out I was cheating on her even though we had sex very often, and we separated. I went to counselling and found out I was a sex addict. I went to counselling for that and got other help and managed to change my ways. Then I lost my job and my wife (we were still separated, but not divorced) let me move back in with her but in a separate bedroom.
Now we live together and go to counselling together, and go out together and cuddle up while we watch TV and sometimes even sleep together, but my wife still doesn’t want to ever have sex with me again.
Queenie, can we make our marriage work if there is no sex?—Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
It is possible, but it will take a lot of work from both of you. This is a question that should be addressed during your counselling sessions. There is hope, as you both have already made a lot of progress in dealing with your problems.
Dear Queenie,
It seems like these days people would rather talk to each other over the phone or social media than get together in person. Even my boyfriend spends all his time at home on the computer or his phone and I have a hard time getting him to talk to me.
Queenie, how can I make him understand why I am—Fed up with social media
Dear Fed up,
Tell your boyfriend you feel neglected when he does not pay any attention to you. Perhaps you can schedule a specific time when he turns off, or at least ignores, all his devices and devotes his attention to you – talking with you; playing games with you; whatever, but with you.
If he cannot, or will not, do that for you, perhaps it is time for you to find a different boyfriend.
