Dear Queenie,
My son and his wife just had a baby boy, my first grandchild. I want to see the baby as often as I can for as long as I can, and even babysit now and then, but I don’t want to intrude.
Queenie, what is a reasonable schedule for visitation?—New Grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
There is no set answer to your question. Talk to your son and daughter-in-law and try to work out a schedule that is comfortable for all of you. It will help if you can stay on the best terms possible with the baby’s mother.
Dear Queenie,
I don’t like to be touched by anyone and I hate having sex. I put up with it for my boyfriend’s sake but even with him I don’t like it and I know he can tell and I’m just glad he still stays with me.
Queenie, what’s wrong with me?—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
Sex should be something you can enjoy. If you do not like being touched at all you may have psychological or sensory problems that need to be considered. Talk to your doctor about this and ask to be referred to an appropriate counsellor.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter’s boyfriend is a real loser. He quit school, drinks and smokes too much, doesn’t have a job and tries to control everything she does.
Queenie, why would a girl from a good family choose such a loser? How can we keep her from making a big mistake by sticking with him?—Worried father
Dear Father,
Your daughter may have the idea that she can “fix” what is wrong with this guy.
Do not alienate her by trying to make her choose between him and your family. Hopefully she will eventually get tired of this man’s bad attributes – and if/when that happens, try not to tell her you told her so.
Dear Queenie,
My husband’s ex-wife says nasty things about us to his grown-up children, so we do not want to include her when we have family events. However, they seem to think that because she is single and “alone” she should be included whenever they all get together.
Queenie, how do we handle this?—Annoyed stepmother
Dear Stepmother,
Apparently your stepchildren still have a good relationship with their mother. Be kind. You do not have to include her all the time, but do so once in a while.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I have been together for many years and we have a very good relationship except for one problem. I like to socialize and spend time with friends, but if I find a new friend my girlfriend will start to say mean things about them and make me feel bad about spending time with them. Often it’s easier to give up a friendship than to argue about it.
Queenie, is there anything I can do about this?—Friendly guy
Dear Friendly guy,
Apparently your girlfriend has feelings of insecurity.
The next time she starts saying mean things about a friend of yours, offer to take her along to share the fun when you go to meet with them. Then, if she will not join you, go without her and enjoy yourself.
