Dear Queenie,
My husband just turned 40 and I’m a couple of years younger. We have 3 daughters and my husband has always wanted a son. The youngest girl is just a few weeks old and I had a difficult time while I was pregnant, with serious major complications, according to my doctor.
Now my husband is already talking about trying again for a boy. I don’t want him to spend the rest of his life pining for the son he never had, but even if we try there is no guarantee that it will be a boy.
Queenie, do you think it is worth trying again?—Middle-aged mother
Dear Mother,
The person you should be asking this question is your obstetrician – and take your husband along with you when you ask.
As you say, there is no guarantee that this time you would have a boy, but it is highly likely that you would have serious complications during and possibly after the pregnancy. Is your husband willing to risk your future health, and possibly your life, for a child that may well turn out to be another girl? Personally, I do not recommend it.
Dear Queenie,
Our parents owned a house together and after Dad died Mom became the sole owner. Many years later she got married again to a divorced man with children from his previous marriage.
Queenie, we wish our mother a long and happy life, but we have to wonder who will inherit the house if something should happen to her?—Sons and daughters with questions
Dear Sons and daughters,
That will depend on the terms of your father’s will, if he left one, and the terms of your mother’s will, if she leaves one when her time comes.
Consult a lawyer to find out about your father’s will (if any) and encourage your mother to make a will as soon as possible if she has not already done so.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a girl who was taught to be polite and shake hands with someone when I’m introduced to them or meet up with them, but very often when the other person is an adult, especially if it’s a man, they will say, “Girls don’t shake hands,” and try to hug me. I don’t mind if it’s a relative or a friend or someone I know well, but I don’t like it from anyone else.
Queenie, how do I stop them from hugging me without being rude?—Offended
Dear Offended,
Step away from them, smile, and say (politely), “I would rather shake hands.” If they persist in trying to hug you, they are the ones who are being rude.
Dear Queenie,
Recently I found out about some bad things that were done by a person with the same name as mine. I would be ashamed to have anyone think that it was me or that I have any connection to that person.
Queenie, do you think I should change my name?—Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed,
Unless your name is unique, or at least very uncommon, I doubt that anyone would make that connection, and if they did you could explain that it was someone else with the same name.
And if you decide to change your name, you had better do some research on people with the name you are choosing, just to be on the safe side. You would not want to find yourself in the same position again (or worse) after a name change.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a single woman living alone and I have trouble meeting good men. I met a few online and a couple when I was at a bar or eating by myself at a restaurant, but all they wanted was someone to have sex with.
Queenie, where can I go to meet good men who will treat me well and maybe want more than just sex?—Searching in vain
Dear Searching,
Try asking your relatives, friends, and maybe even your colleagues at work (if you have a job) to introduce you to any single men they know. At least that way the men you meet will (hopefully) have good references. But be careful. Even some of these men will just be looking for sex partners.
