Dear Queenie,
I’m very well educated and have a good job in a professional field and I’m reasonably good-looking and healthy and physically fit. However, my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend is also well-educated and has a professional career and is absolutely gorgeous, and compared to her I feel like nothing.
Queenie, how can I stop feeling jealous of someone he broke up with and doesn’t have anything to do with anymore?—Green-eyed girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Keep reminding yourself that it was your boyfriend who ended that previous relationship and that he must have had good reasons for doing so – and for being with you now.
Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who always butts into a conversation and takes it over and won’t let anyone else get a word in.
Queenie, how do I get them to let everyone else have a chance to talk?—Fed-up friend
Dear Friend,
Your friend may not even realise they are doing this. Talk to them about it and see if you can find out why they do it. Then maybe you can work out a signal with them to let them know when it is time to let someone else get a word in.
Dear Queenie,
I’m overweight and trying to lose weight, but I had an injury that makes it difficult for me to exercise so I have to be very careful about what and how much I eat. My problem is people who are always trying to get me to eat things shouldn’t – just have a taste, they say – or to eat too much – what’s the matter, don’t you like my cooking? they ask.
Queenie, what’s a polite way to answer them?—Weight-watcher
Dear Weight-watcher,
Just tell these people – politely – that you have a weight problem and your doctor has put you on a strict diet which you are being very careful to follow, and thank them for understanding (even if they actually do not).
Dear Queenie,
My wife is still friends with a man who used to be her boyfriend in high school and he calls her to complain and ask for advice whenever he has a problem with his wife, which seems to happen all the time. I asked her to put a limit on these calls – not so often and not so long – and she did, but it still happens more than I like.
Queenie, I don’t want to make her stop talking to him entirely but enough is enough is too much. What more can I do?—Fed-up husband
Dear Husband,
Suggest to your wife that she tell her friend he needs more help than she can give him and recommend that he go for professional counselling. She can even recommend a counsellor if she knows one or if you do.
Dear Queenie,
I am careful to keep to a normal weight, but my husband has gotten very, very, very, hugely fat and refuses to talk to me about anything that has to do with his weight, like exercising and watching what he eats, and he hangs out with a bunch of friends who are also very fat.
Queenie, I worry about his health. What can I do?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
Because your husband’s friends are also hugely overweight, they all probably think they are of normal size and there is no way you can force him to think differently.
A physical check-up might help, because he might listen to his doctor when he will not listen to you, but there is not much you can do beside making sure that the food in your home is as nutritious and non-fattening as possible. It might help if you can get him to do any physical activity, like taking a walk with you after eating a meal.
