Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend wants me to move in with him. I would like to do it, but his house has pictures everywhere of his wife, who died many years ago.
I know he feels great sorrow over that loss, especially because she was sick for some time before she died and he was away on business when she finally passed away, so I have never said anything about this before, but it would be just too much for me to have to live with.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
Tell him the pictures are a problem for you, and apparently they indicate he has a problem as well and perhaps would benefit from professional counselling to deal with the problem – and with all the pictures.
It might also be a good idea for the two of you to find a new place to live together, because even without all the pictures on display his house must be full of memories of his late wife, which would make things uncomfortable for both of you.
Dear Queenie,
I work for a small family-owned business where one person is supposed to clean things up every day after we close for business.
Recently that person got a promotion, but they’re still supposed to do the cleaning, but they’re not doing it. The talk around the place is that they didn’t get a big enough raise with their promotion so they’re slacking off on the cleaning and no one else will do it because it’s still supposed to be their job.
When customers come in sometimes they comment about the condition the place is in but still no one does anything about it. I can’t go to the person who is supposed to do the cleaning because they are now in charge of my part of the business, which makes them my boss.
Queenie, what can I do?—Offended employee
Dear Offended employee,
The person who is supposed to do the cleaning must have a boss. Do not complain about the person who is supposed to do the cleaning, just mention to their boss that customers have commented about the condition of the premises and suggest that maybe they need to get additional help for the cleaning.
If nothing happens after that, you could ignore the situation, help with the cleaning, or start looking for another job – which might be a good idea, because if things get bad enough the business will surely suffer and you might find yourself without a job.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I have friends over for dinner quite often, but I have noticed that some of them never invite us to their house or take us out to eat.
Queenie, why do you think that is?—Always the host, never the guest
Dear Host,
Perhaps your friends cannot afford to entertain you the way you entertain them, or maybe they were never taught that it is rude not to reciprocate someone’s hospitality. Have you tried asking them about this (as tactfully as you can manage)?
Dear Queenie,
A woman in our neighbourhood lets her two pre-school children run around outside naked in her yard and sometimes even out in the street.
Queenie, am I being prudish? How old should children be when this is no longer okay?—Offended Neighbour
Dear Neighbour,
Children older than 3 should not be naked in public, no child of any age should be playing outside that way without adult supervision, and no child of any age should be playing in the street, naked or clothed. Have you mentioned your concern to your neighbour? If so, and they have ignored your concern, perhaps you should have a word with the juvenile authorities and/or the Court of Guardianship.
Dear Queenie,
When I was a teenager my parents got divorced because my father kept getting involved with other women. My mother didn’t make his affairs part of the divorce proceedings, but she told me that was the reason for them breaking up. A couple of years after the divorce my father married one of his other women.
Now my father is in his 80s and he claims that he never knew why my mother wanted to divorce him.
Queenie, I wish he would be more honest about it all!—Disgusted daughter
Dear Daughter,
It is quite possible that, at his age, your father does not remember clearly what happened so long ago. Is he showing any other signs of mental failure? Try to be patient with him.
