Dear Queenie,
My best friend got married about a year ago and whenever he has a problem with his wife he calls me to tell me all about it. He goes on and on about it and tells me things that I think should be private between the two of them and maybe a marriage counsellor. I don’t think he should be telling so much, but he just goes right on talking.
Queenie, how can I get him to stop all this?—Fed-up friend
Dear Friend,
Tell your friend that he should not be telling you so many things that should be private between him and his wife, that you do not want to hear about them, and that if there are so many problems he – and his wife – should be talking instead to a professional marriage counsellor. And repeat as necessary.
Dear Queenie,
My sister is very smart and well-educated, but she got engaged to a man who is not as well-educated as she is and it seems to me he is actually rather stupid.
Queenie, I really think he is not good enough for her but she has never asked me what I think about him.—Big sister
Dear Sister,
If your sister has never asked you what you think about her fiancé she obviously is not interested in your opinion of him.
It may be hard to understand what she sees in him that makes her want to marry him, but asking her about it and/or telling her what you think could cause problems between the two of you because she probably would be vexed that it is not complimentary and would not pay much attention to what you say.
Dear Queenie,
I have attended events where people were too busy on their cell phones to pay attention to what is going on around them.
Queenie, why do they go if they are not interested enough in the event to turn off or at least ignore their phones?—Cell phone Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Sometimes someone will try to please someone else by going to an event they are not interested in. However, it is rude of them to do anything that might distract those around them who are there to enjoy the event.
It would be a good idea for whoever is organising an event to request that all electronic devices be turned off before the event starts, out of respect for any performers and for whoever is putting on the event. I just wish they would do so, and that people would abide by the request.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I have been married for almost 30 years and she is still just as beautiful as the day we got married. My only problem is that she just isn’t interested in sex and we have it about once every 2 weeks. She seems to enjoy it once we get started but when I asked her why not more often she said what we have is enough for her and more would be “too much work.”
Queenie, can you give me any advice?—Frustrated husband
Dear Husband,
Ask your wife to talk to her doctor about this – and try to be with her when she does, if both of them will permit it.
Beyond that, try to concentrate on all the other aspects of your marriage that make you happy and be thankful for them.
Dear Queenie,
I am allergic to certain foods and my family and my friends know about it, but sometimes they will serve me something I am allergic to and insist that just a little bit won’t hurt me.
Queenie, how can I make them understand that it only takes a little bit to set off my allergy?—Seriously allergic
Dear Seriously allergic,
At best, an allergic reaction is uncomfortable, but a serious reaction could even be fatal. There are all too often news stories about serious or fatal allergic reactions, especially around holiday time.
For what it is worth, show them this column. Or, get a note from your doctor telling you what food(s) you must avoid and carry a copy with you to show anyone who does not seem to understand.
