Dear Queenie,

My daughter is always taking things. She has taken money out of my purse, helped herself to some of my jewelry, wears my clothes whenever she likes something, eats all the food in the fridge when she is hungry or gives it to her friends. I’ve seen her with some things that I don’t know where she got them and I’m afraid she stole them somewhere.

I didn’t teach her to be like this and I don’t know where she got these habits.

I don’t want to ask her to pay for it, because she doesn’t have a very good job and besides, I’m afraid if I try to talk to her about it she will get angry and move out. I certainly don’t want to report her to the police about the money, but I can’t afford to have things go on this way.

Queenie, do you think she will ever change?—Desperate mother

Dear Desperate mother,

As long as you let her get away with this kind of behaviour, why should she ever change? And yes, you did teach her these habits, by keeping silent about them and not showing her that there were consequences for her actions.

It’s time to confront her and let her know how much you dislike what she is doing. Also, make it clear that you will not tolerate this behaviour and if it continues, she will have to move out. You might also require her to get some counselling if she wants to go on living with you. And while you’re about it, start charging her rent, plus something for the food she eats and/or gives away.

If she protests, and she probably will, stick to your guns. It’s time for some tough love, before she gets herself into some real trouble.

Dear Queenie,

I’ve been going with a boy at school for about a year. He’s in his last year and recently he told me we should break up because he has to concentrate on his classes and get good grades so he can get study financing. I told him how much I love him, but he wouldn’t change his mind.

Then a couple of weeks later he called me and asked me if we could have sex. That isn’t exactly what he said, but I knew what he meant. I said I won’t be ready for that until I am all grown up and finished with school. He said, “Okay, I’ll see you around,” and I haven’t heard from him again except for seeing him once in a while in school.

Queenie, do you think I hurt his feelings?—Lonely teenager

Dear Lonely teenager,

If you did, he deserved it! A boy who is too busy for a romantic relationship but thinks you might have sex with him anyway is too selfish and immature to bother with, for a girl as sensible as you seem to be.

Dear Queenie,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, except for a little while when we had a fight and broke up. Pretty soon he came back to me and said he was sorry and he wanted us to get back together and I believed him so I said yes.

Some of my friends told me he had been with some other girls while we were apart, but I didn’t believe them. He told me they were just trying to break us up again and I believed him. But now I am feeling some funny things “down there” and I don’t know what to do.

If I go to our family doctor he will tell my parents for sure and then they will know my boyfriend and I are having sex and they will make me stop seeing him.

Queenie, what do you think I should do?—Scared

Dear Scared,

And so you should be. Obviously you suspect, as I do, that you have caught an STD, and that is definitely something to be scared of. STDs can lead to serious and often painful medical complications, including infertility. And if you have caught HIV, it could eventually be fatal!

Run, do not walk, to a doctor, have yourself tested, and pray that whatever is wrong can be treated!

Furthermore, if you have not been with any other man, you could only have caught an STD from your boyfriend. If it turns out that you have caught one (or more!), that means that he has been with at least one other woman and that he has lied to you about it.

If that is the case, you shouldn’t wait for your parents to make you stop seeing him. Knowing that he can’t be trusted, you should break up with him at once, before his infidelity is the death of you. You should also tell him what you know and insist that he seek medical attention before he spreads the infection to anyone else. If necessary, give his name to your doctor, and give it to the Hygiene Department if they ask for it

Dear Queenie,

I think I’m in love with this guy I used to work with. He’s very friendly to me and very polite and considerate and he always helped me when I was at my job. But I never let him know how I felt because we worked together and it might cause friction in case it didn’t work out.

He used to give me rides home, and sometimes he would even just stop by from work if he worked late and I was finished already or on my day off, but he would never come inside.

But last month I got fired from my job and we haven’t had any contact since then and I really miss him.

Queenie, what should I do now?—Undecided

Dear Undecided,

That depends. Do you know if he is married or otherwise “attached”? If he is, forget about him. A romance with a man who is already “spoken for” would just cause problems for both of you.

However, if he is available, you might try giving him a casual call “just to say hello.” His behaviour toward you may have been based on the same reasons you had for not letting him know how you feel, which no longer apply. If that is the case, you are both now free to take the next step. You will know what to think from his reaction to your call.