Dear Queenie,

In my family we do not drink alcohol and we do not want to serve it at our daughter’s wedding. We have been to too many affairs that were spoiled by some drunken idiot making a fool of him- (or her-) self or just making things unpleasant for everyone else.

But her fiancé thinks it would be rude not to offer our guests whatever they want to drink.

Queenie, is he right?—Wedding Etty Ket

Dear Wedding,

No! There is no rule of etiquette that alcohol must be served at a wedding – or any other event, for that matter. Serve your guests fruit punch or “soft” (unfermented) cider and if they are not satisfied they can always leave (which would be rude!).

Dear Queenie,

I have a friend who is a nut about global warming. Every time he visits me he gets on about how I am wasting energy and contributing to global warming because I use airco.

The fact of the matter is I only use it when it is really hot and a fan is not enough and then I don’t turn it any colder than I absolutely have to to keep from fainting from the heat, but he says I am just making excuses, blah, blah blah.

Queenie, how do I shut him up?—Drowning in sweat

Dear Drowning,

I doubt you can.

If you can bear the heat for a little while, turn off the airco completely when this friend visits you and let him also drown in sweat. Otherwise, try to limit his visits to the time of year when you can comfortably do without airco at least briefly.

Dear Queenie,

I lost my husband a short while ago and I’m not ready yet to start dating, but there’s this friend of ours who keeps offering to take me out to lunch or dinner and calling and texting me and stuff like that.

I don’t want to spoil our friendship, but I really wish he’d back off and give me some space.

Queenie, how can I discourage him?—Still in mourning

Dear In mourning,

Tell him straight out what you have told me: that you are still in mourning and not ready to start socialising again.

If that spoils your friendship with him, small loss – he is not much of a friend to begin with.

Dear Queenie,

After I was dating this guy for a while I found out he already had a steady girlfriend before he started up with me, but he still kept seeing me because she wouldn’t sleep with him.

Finally I got mad about the situation and I told her about me and her boyfriend and then I dumped him, but she stuck with him and now I hear they are getting married.

Queenie, what do you think of that? I would never marry a man I knew might cheat on me because he had done it before.—Amazed

Dear Amazed,

You dumped this guy because of his behaviour towards you and his other woman. What she does about his behaviour is her business, not yours, at least not any more. Forget about both of them.