Dear Queenie,
After my ex and I broke up he started going with another girl who is a little younger than I am. I don’t care about that, but she seems to think that because I lost him and she has him now, she can tell me what’s wrong with me and give me advice about everything.
I don’t want to make a big thing of it because we have mutual friends that I don’t want her telling lies to about me, but she’s really annoying.
Queenie, how can I get her to lay off me?—Annoyed ex
Dear Annoyed,
You can listen, nod pleasantly, thank her, and ignore what she says. Or you can just walk away when she starts with her criticism and/or advice.
Or you can tell her (as pleasantly as you can manage) that it is really none of her business and you are not interested in whatever it is she has to say.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter is friends with a girl at school that I like just fine, but I don’t like her parents at all and I’ve heard some bad things about them. They keep inviting my daughter over to play and so far I have refused but they keep asking and so does my daughter.
Queenie, what should I do?—Worried Mom
Dear Mom,
Keep refusing their invitations if you are not comfortable with having your daughter visit their home, but why not invite her friend to your home occasionally? If you do not want her parents around your home, offer to pick up both girls after school and bring their daughter home when the play-date is over.
Dear Queenie,
I have started smoking but my parents don’t know because I always go out of the house to have a cigarette because I know they wouldn’t approve.
I’m tired of keeping this secret, but I can’t afford to move out.
Queenie, should I confess and “face the music”?—Smoking hot girl
Dear Smoking,
Better yet, why not quit smoking? It certainly would be better for your health, now and in the future.
Furthermore, I suspect your parents are already aware of your smoking, because cigarette smoke tends to cling to the smoker’s hair and clothes, and to a non-smoker the nicotine addict smells like a dirty ashtray. Is that really how you want others to perceive you?
Dear Queenie,
I was seeing this man for a couple of years, but not anymore and now he is seeing another woman I happen to know fairly well who knows he was seeing me before her.
Queenie, how can this slut do something like that to someone she knows? How would she feel in my place?—Ex-girlfriend
Dear Ex,
Why is this other woman any more a slut than you were for “seeing” this man? Unless he made some kind of commitment to you that you did not mention, he has every right to “see” anyone he chooses and so does she.
Get over it (him) and find someone new.
Dear Queenie,
My son had a big argument with one of his sisters and since then he has cut himself off from the entire family, including me. That means I never get to see his children, my grandchildren anymore.
Queenie, how can I fix things?—Worried grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
I have to wonder why your son would cut himself off from everyone in the family because of a quarrel with one sister, unless the rest of you took the sister’s side against him (or at least did not take his side against that sister) – or if you all keep trying to get him to make up with that sister.
Try writing him a letter explaining that you refuse to take anyone’s side in such a quarrel, but neither will you pressure him to make up with his sister, and expressing your regret at not seeing your grandchildren – and hope for the best.
