Dear Queenie,
My daughter used to be a good student but since we gave her a cell phone for her birthday her grades have been dropping. Her teacher says she doesn’t pay attention in class and half the time she doesn’t turn in her homework and when she does it's not as good as it used to be.
Queenie, should we take her cell phone away?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Not quite yet.
First, tell your daughter that having a cell phone is a privilege that depends on paying attention in school and keeping up her grades. Then see if matters improve. If they do not, then, yes, take the phone away until they do.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have lived together for several years and now we are getting married. We already have everything we need so we have asked everyone to make donations to charity in our names rather than giving us more things we don’t need, but still we are receiving wedding gifts every day.
Queenie, how do we get the message across? And what do we do with all the stuff we don’t need and really don’t have space to store?—Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
Accept all the gifts with thanks (be sure to send “thank you” notes to the donors in a timely fashion) and later donate whatever you do not need to whatever charitable organisation can make the best use of them, even if it is just by holding a flea market sale.
And also be sure to send “thank you” notes to those persons who actually complied with your original request.
Dear Queenie,
I have a “pen pal” who is in prison and we are getting to be very fond of each other. He still has several more year to go before he gets out so nothing is going to happen any time soon but I have started wondering what will happen when his sentence is up.
Queenie, am I making a mistake? And when he gets out, what do I tell my family and friends about him?—Prisoner’s pen pal
Dear Pen pal,
Are you making a mistake? I cannot tell, and neither can you, without knowing more about this man. And do not depend entirely on what he tells you about himself. Prison inmates have been known to be less than honest about themselves, their crimes and their general background.
You should at the very least make sure to verify everything he tells you by checking with the prison authorities and anyone else to whom they can refer you.
As for your family and friends, assuming you are still involved with this man when he gets out of prison, tell them the truth. This is a small island and they are sure to find out, if they do not already know who and what he is.
Dear Queenie,
My long-time boyfriend and I broke up some time ago and I am still unhappy about it.
Queenie, how do you get over something like this?—Broken-hearted
Dear Broken-hearted,
Mostly by keeping busy with things that have nothing to do with this over-and-done-with relationship. Avoid things like photos, cards, gifts and other keepsakes that remind of your ex and try to cultivate new interests – and friends – that do not remind you of him.
Dear Queenie,
I am a vegan and I am raising my children the same way. I have discussed their diet with their paediatrician and we make sure they are eating a balanced diet and getting all the necessary nutrients for their health.
My problem is all the people who criticize how I feed my children and tell me I am endangering their health when I know I am not.
Queenie, how can I get these busybodies off my back?—Harassed Mother
Dear Mother,
Just ask them if they are medical doctors. Then tell them your paediatrician has approved your children’s diet and refer them to him (or her) if they have anything further to say.
