Dear Queenie,
My husband has the habit of eating fresh fruit and vegetables right out of the container or sack I bring them home in from the grocery store.
I was taught always to wash such things before eating, but he says it’s not really important and I’m just being silly.
Queenie, how can I make him understand how dangerous this can be?—Worried wife
Dear Worried wife,
There have been a number of reports in the news recently about diseases caused by unsanitary produce. Whenever you see or hear such a report bring it to his attention.
Also, take some of that produce you bring home and soak it for at least 5 minutes in water to which you have added some vinegar. This will make the items fairly safe for eating, and if the condition of the water after the soaking does not convince your husband I do not know what will.
And make sure your health insurance is up-to-date.
Dear Queenie,
I’m getting married and I want to have my best friend to be my maid of honour, but she dyes a red streak in her hair and it will clash with the colours I have chosen.
Queenie, is it okay if I ask her to take the colour out of her hair just for the wedding?—Bride-to-be
Dear Bride-to-be,
You may ask her to change her hair colour on your account, but do not be offended if she refuses to do so. And she may refuse to be your maid of honour because of the colour-clash.
If you wanted her to be your maid of honour you should have considered her hair colour when you chose your colour scheme. Do not be a bride-zilla!
Dear Queenie,
I have been seeing this man for more than a year but he doesn’t really seem to care about me.
He used to call and come by quite often but after a while not so much. He never wants to do things that I like, he always comes to my house but never takes me to his, and he only wants to see me at night and I have never met any of his family.
Queenie, is there any hope for this relationship?—Feel neglected
Dear Neglected,
What relationship? A “relationship” is a matter of give and take on both sides, but all this man does is take and all you do is give.
Whatever feelings you may have for this man, he apparently only wants what he can get from you and does not care about what you may want or need from him.
Put this man out of your life and find someone else who shares your feelings.
Dear Queenie,
I’m still living with my parents until I can find a job. I have my own room and most of my family respect my privacy and if my door is closed they knock or call out and wait for me to answer before they come in, but my mother just barges in whenever she feels like it, even if the door is closed, even the bathroom door.
I’ve tried to talk to her about it but then she accuses me of hiding the fact that I’m doing something I shouldn’t, which is not true. I could just be taking a shower or changing my clothes, or talking on the phone.
Queenie, how can I get through to her?—No privacy
Dear No privacy,
Your mother treated you this way when you were a child and cannot get it through her head that you have grown up. Ask your father to talk to her about this and hope he can get the message across.
Also, ask his permission (it is his house, after all) to install a lock on your door, even just a hook-and-eye on the inside, use it when necessary, and if (when) your mother complains, tell her she has been locked out because of her bad manners.
Then find some kind of job quickly so you can move out – and when you do, do not give your parents keys to your new home. But do give keys to someone you can trust to respect your privacy, in case of emergency.
Dear Queenie,
When someone says something my wife doesn’t agree with she doesn’t listen to them or argue with them, she just starts talking about something else. Once when they kept on talking about what she didn’t want to hear she actually put her hands over her ears and walked away.
Queenie, how do you deal with someone like that?—Stumped
Dear Stumped,
Your wife sounds rather childish. Covering the ears and going “la la la la la” is what kindergarten children do.
When she does it to you, just say “Yes, dear,” change the subject and go ahead and do whatever it was she did not want to hear about. If she complains later, remind her that you tried to talk to her about it and she refused to listen. Hopefully, she eventually will get the message – hopefully!
