Dear Queenie,
My father is cheating on my mother. I found out by accident while I was using his computer and there is no mistake about it. I told him I would tell Mom if he didn’t make an end to it, but I know she will stick with him anyway.
Now I’m having trouble trusting my boyfriend because of the idea that all men are alike even though I have no real reason to doubt him.
Queenie, help!—Cheater’s daughter
Dear Daughter,
Not all men are like your father, as I am sure you realise in your calmer moments. Professional counselling probably would help you ease your mind on that issue.
Meanwhile, do not interfere in what is entirely your parents’ business. You cannot control what your father does or does not do, your mother may or may not know what he is up to and, if she knows, what she does about it is entirely up to her.
Dear Queenie,
We have some friends who always bring us a “hostess gift” when they come to visit us, but it’s always something they got cheap because it is out of date. They even brag about how much they saved on buying it.
These people are very well-off and it’s not as if they can’t afford to pay the regular price.
Queenie, should we just accept the gifts, thank them and throw the stuff out after they have gone home or tell them not to bother?—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
Thank them kindly for the gift and then serve the out-of-date food to them and something more nourishing to yourselves. If they comment on the difference, tell them you prefer not to eat food that is past its freshness date.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine is being abused by her boyfriend. She even call the police for him once but it didn’t do any good.
She always comes to me crying and asking for advice. I try to help her but she never listens to any advice I give her.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Worried friend
Dear Friend,
About all you can do for her is be there for her when she needs you. If you have not already done so, give her the following contact information for Safe Haven and pray that she will use it:
Safe Haven (office 9277), 24-hour hotline number: 9333 or (721) 523-6400, e-mail address: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. , Facebook: SafeHavenSt.Maarten
Dear Queenie,
I am afraid of birds, even small ones, and they are all over the place in St. Maarten. I know this is silly, but I am still scared every time one comes near me.
Queenie, how can I get over this?—Ornithophobe
Dear Ornithophobe,
Professional counselling might help you understand why you have this phobia. Some incident in your childhood may have triggered it.
Meanwhile, whenever a bird frightens you, try yellin at it. Getting angry may help you be less afraid, and the birds will usually fly away when you shout at them. Also, seeing that they are afraid of you also could help you become less afraid of them
Dear Queenie,
Our son is away at college and he doesn’t keep in touch with us. He even moved out of his dormitory and in with a friend and the only way we found out was when the birthday check we sent him came back marked ”Not at this address.”
I called his cell phone and asked him for his new address and he only gave it to me when I explained we had a check to send him, which he never let us know he had received it or thanked us for it, although I guess he got it because it didn’t come back to us.
Queenie, don’t we have a right to know where he is living or is he only interested in us when he wants money?—Angry parent
Dear Angry parent,
Your son is asserting his independence (although apparently not financial independence), but he is behaving immaturely. At least he is still attending college (and hopefully getting fairly good grades) and apparently staying out of (serious) trouble.
Try to be patient with him. Hopefully he will grow up sooner than later
