Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend is at university in the States, but we talk on the phone several times a day and travel to be together as often as we can.
The last time we were together he told me loves me, but he’s been dating other women and having sex with them, and he hardly spent any time with me.
I told him I couldn’t go on like that and things were over between us, but he still calls and says he loves me.
Queenie, should I give him another chance or tell him to leave me alone?—Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken,
Your (ex-)boyfriend wants to have his cake (you) and eat it too (a lot of other women).
Do not let him make you feel like second choice. Tell him he can “eat all the cake” he wants and to let you get on with your life in peace, meaning without him. You can find a lot better “significant other” than this philanderer.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I try to avoid processed foods, especially candy and junk food, and we consult our doctor or paediatrician about our children’s diet and any medicines and nutritional supplements, but my parents constantly scold us for depriving our children of sweets and other treats and giving them “dangerous medicine.”
Queenie, how do we convince them we are doing the right thing?—Careful parents
Dear Parents,
You probably cannot convince them to agree with your choices, but you may be able to stop their criticism by referring them to your doctor/paediatrician.
When they criticise you, just tell them, “Dr. (whoever) says this is just fine. Here is his (or her) phone number – go argue with him (or her),” and change the subject or end the conversation.
Dear Queenie,
I just found out that my daughter has never sent “thank you” notes for the wedding gifts she received 2 years ago.
Queenie, should the notes be sent now or should we just forget it?—“Thank you” Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Either she or you (better if she does it) should send the notes now with an apology and explanation for their being so late.
The people who gave her gifts deserve to know that she received and appreciated them.
Dear Queenie,
My father molested me when I was little and when my mother found out she divorced him.
Eventually he got married again and his new wife’s daughter has small children.
Queenie, should we tell them what he did to me?—Estranged daughter
Dear Daughter,
Yes! The new wife’s family should know that your father could be a danger to their small children.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in love with a waitress where I eat a couple of times a week, but she won’t give me the time of day. When I told her how I feel she told me she is not interested and anyway she doesn’t date customers.
I kept on eating there and she asked me not to sit in her section. I don’t want to offend her but I can’t just give her up.
Queenie, how can I get her to give me chance?—Restaurant Romeo
Dear Romeo,
She has made it very clear that she is not interested in you and there is no chance she will change her mind. For all you know she is married or in a committed relationship.
Leave her alone, as she has requested, and look for love somewhere else.
