Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend has a habit of correcting my grammar (and other people’s) during a simple conversation and it’s really irritating.
Queenie, how can we get her to stop without being rude to her?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
It may not be possible. You can try thanking her profusely and at length every time she corrects you (and I will bet she corrects any mistakes you make in your “thank you” speech) but she may not get the point.
You can also try correcting any mistakes she makes – grammatical or points of fact – and if she objects just say you are following her example and hope she gets the point. Do not worry about being rude to her – you will just be “doing unto her as she is doing unto you.”
Dear Queenie,
My sister and her husband own a timeshare in St. Maarten and invited me to stay with them for a week this summer, but when we started talking about specific dates when I could come down they made a point of telling me they would expect me to pay for my own food and liquor.
Queenie, I would love to have a Caribbean vacation, but I don’t like being taken advantage of!—Angry brother
Dear Brother,
Just who is taking advantage of whom? You expect your sister and brother-in-law to feed you and provide you with free drinks as well as free lodging? I suggest you do some research on hotel prices in St. Maarten and learn just what a bargain your sister and brother-in-law have offered you!
Dear Queenie,
My parents fight all the time and my father says mean things to my mother and me and if we object he says we are disrespecting him, but he doesn’t have any respect for us.
I hate all this and I don’t want to see my parents get divorced like some of my friends’ parents have done.
Queenie, is there anything I can do about all this?—Unhappy teenager
Dear Teenager,
Not every couple that fights ends up getting divorced. Sometimes they just get used to this kind of behaviour and take it for granted.
It might help if you talk to your parents in a quiet moment – separately or together – and explain to them how their behaviour makes you feel. They may not realise how they appear to other people, even you. I wish you good luck with this!
Dear Queenie,
I’m ashamed to say that when I was in high school I bullied a classmate who was of a different cultural background than me. As an adult I know what I did was wrong and I would like to make amends.
Queenie, would it be okay for me to send her a message of apology on her Facebook page?—
Dear Remorseful,
It is never wrong to apologise for something you have done wrong, but do not take it for granted that your victim will forgive you just because you have done so. Keep your message brief and do not be surprised if she does not respond. And if she does respond, accept whatever she says and do not try to keep in touch with her further unless she is clearly willing to hear more from you.
Dear Queenie,
In less than a year my young daughter became pregnant for her psychotic and abusive boyfriend.
Every time he gets abusive, he and his mother constantly ring off her phone with many apologies and promises to get counselling by Mental Health. And before you look he charms his way right back to her and they forget about the much-needed help.
As a Christian mother, I tried to be supportive and personally called MH and Safe Haven on their behalf. Now I am very bitter towards him and don't even want him by the house. My heart grieves for my daughter and my unborn grandchild which he uses as the passport to her.
Queenie, do you think I should try to get along with him for the sake of my grandchild?—Unhappy Grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
I think you should do whatever you have to do to stay as close as possible to your daughter, because as sure as the sun comes up in the morning she and her child are going to need your help to protect them from this man’s abuse.
I doubt you can get this man to go to MH for counselling, but if you can persuade your daughter to go to Safe Haven she may find the strength to separate herself from an abusive partner, if only for her child’s sake.
