Dear Queenie,
Every time I invite a friend of mine to go out together and do something she always wants to check with her husband to see if he wants to go with us. I just want to have a “girls only” excursion but she always wants to bring her husband along.
Queenie, should I give up on her?—Fed up friend
Dear Friend,
Before you give up on your friend, ask yourself (and maybe her too) whether she always wants her husband to come along or it is that he refuses to allow her to go anywhere without him – which is one of the signs of a controlling if not abusive relationship.
Rather than giving up on her, perhaps you should let her know you are there for her if she needs your help in coping with the way her husband treats her.
Dear Queenie,
Recently I accidentally met up with my son’s ex-girlfriend and we had a couple of drinks together and really got along well.
I’d like to see her again and my son says he’s all done with her.
Queenie, do you think it would be okay for me to date her?—Undecided dad
Dear Dad,
Technically there is nothing wrong with this. However, think how creepy it would be for your son to have to get accustomed to seeing his ex-girlfriend in the position of his father’s girlfriend and possibly his de facto, if not legal, stepmother – especially if they had been sleeping together when she was his girlfriend!
Dear Queenie,
Is there some rule about having to take your honeymoon right after you get married? My fiancée and I can’t afford a honeymoon trip right now. We are saving up for it, but it’s going to be a while before we can afford it, but we would like to get married right away.
Queenie, do we have to wait to get married until we can afford the honeymoon?—Honeymoon Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
There is no rule that I know of regarding when you must take a honeymoon. In fact, there is no rule that I know of that you must take a honeymoon at all.
So, get married when you are ready and take your honeymoon when you can afford it. If anyone gives you an argument about calling it a honeymoon, tell them it is a “deferred honeymoon” or just your first vacation together as a married couple.
It is really nobody else’s business what you call it, anyway.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend of many years died in an accident. Come to find out at the funeral, he had a lot of other girlfriends besides me and was just with me for what he could get out of me.
Now when people who knew both of us together see me they offer me their condolences on my loss.
Queenie, should I just thank them, or tell them the truth so they won’t feel bad for me?—Con artist’s victim
Dear Victim,
You have suffered a loss – if not the loss of your boyfriend, the loss of your faith in him. Do whatever makes you feel better.
Dear Queenie,
We just found out that a woman in our social group is having an affair with a man who is married and has children.
Now we are not comfortable being around a woman who would interfere in another woman’s marriage, or having her around our husbands.
Queenie, what should we do?—Worried wives
Dear Wives,
Before you do anything, sit down with this woman, tell her what you have found out, and listen to what she has to say. Then you will know what to do.
