Dear Queenie,
Everyone in my family thinks my sister’s husband is just about perfect and I did too until I saw him in a restaurant with another woman and they were acting like they were more than just co-workers or casual friends.
I feel awful knowing what I saw, but I would feel worse if telling her would break up their marriage.
Queenie, should I tell my sister what I saw?—Ambivalent
Dear Ambivalent,
How would you feel if your positions were reversed? Would you want your sister to tell you what she saw? If you would, tell your sister (tactfully) what you saw. It might actually help to save their marriage.
Dear Queenie,
I have a boy friend (not “boyfriend”) who is gay. One time he saw another boy he thought was interesting and asked me if I knew whether that boy is gay. I asked a friend of the other boy and he said no, the other boy is as straight as they come.
My problem is that now I have got to know the other boy I got to like him and when he asked me for a date I would have said “yes” if my boy friend wasn’t interested in him.
Queenie, would it be okay for me to go out with that other boy?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
I do not think the “girl code” applies in this case. Because the other boy is straight there is no chance whatsoever that he will ever be interested in your gay friend in that way. However, it might be a good idea to ask your gay friend how he would feel about it before you decide.
Dear Queenie,
My children don’t like visiting my parents because they say Gramma is always “down” and angry and they don’t like the way she treats Grampa.
Queenie, should I tell her what they said? Do you think it would make her change?—Can’t decide what’s best
Dear Can’t decide,
I would not tell her you are repeating what her grandchildren said. Instead, tell her you can see that she is not happy and suggest (gently!) that professional counselling might help.
Dear Queenie,
I have a boy friend (not “boyfriend”) who is gay. One time he saw another boy he thought was interesting and asked me if I knew whether that boy is gay. I asked a friend of the other boy and he said no, the other boy is as straight as they come.
My problem is that now I have got to know the other boy I got to like him and when he asked me for a date I would have said “yes” if my boy friend wasn’t interested in him.
Queenie, would it be okay for me to go out with that other boy?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
I do not think the “girl code” applies in this case. Because the other boy is straight there is no chance whatsoever that he will ever be interested in your gay friend in that way. However, it might be a good idea to ask your gay friend how he would feel about it before you decide.
Dear Queenie,
Before we got married my husband used to treat me like a queen, lots of presents, going out to fancy places, etc.
Now he hardly speaks to me. If I am doing something in one room he gets up and goes to another room.
Queenie, do you think he just married me to get an unpaid housekeeper?—Frustrated wife
Dear Wife,
Have you tried asking your husband that question? If not, you should, possibly with a professional counsellor as mediator if you can get your husband to go with you to one. If not, go by yourself for help in handling your husband and the situation he has put you in.
