Dear Queenie,
My sister stopped speaking to me a couple of years ago because I dated her best friend for a while and then we broke up. There wasn’t any big fight or anything, we just sort of cooled off with each other. Her friend and I are still on good terms, we just aren’t together anymore. But my sister still isn’t talking to me.
Queenie, I didn’t do anything to either of them. Why can’t my sister get over it?—Estranged brother
Dear Brother,
I am guessing your sister was hoping you would make her friend her sister(-in-law) and was terribly disappointed when that did not happen. However, her reaction was, and still is, irrationally out of proportion. All you can do is hope she will get over it with (probably a very, very long) time.
Dear Queenie,
My Dad cheated on my mother and they got divorced. That was years ago and he still hasn’t admitted that he did anything wrong. He hardly keeps in touch with me anymore, just an occasional phone call or e-mail.
Queenie, should I just leave things like that?—Divorcees’ son
Dear Son,
Unless there is something you have not told me, your father did not do anything wrong to you, only to your mother, and it is to her, not to you, that he must make (or has already made) his admission of wrongdoing and, hopefully, his apology. Do not interfere.
Dear Queenie,
Is your son-in-law still part of your family after his wife (our daughter) dies? Should we still try to stay close with him even if he starts dating again?
Queenie, what do you say?—Grieving parents
Dear Parents,
It depends on how close you were with him while he was married to your daughter and, of course, how he feels about the relationship. If you were close with him while your daughter was alive keep yourselves available, but leave it up to him.
Dear Queenie,
When my daughter and her husband have a fight she makes him sleep in the spare bedroom and lets their daughter sleep with her.
Queenie, is this bad for my granddaughter? Should I be worried about her?—Concerned grandma
Dear Grandma,
You do not need to be worried about your granddaughter sleeping with her mother, but seeing her parents quarrelling is another matter.
However, I do not think you should get involved in their marital problems beyond suggesting professional counselling if the quarrels seem too frequent and/or serious.
Dear Queenie,
My children and I love animals and we would love to have a cat or a dog, but we live in a small “no pets” apartment and I can’t afford to move.
Any suggestions, Queenie?—Animal lover
Dear Animal lover,
Perhaps you and your children could do volunteer work at an animal shelter. Call the Animal Welfare Foundation or Animals R Friends. You will find their contact information in the Agenda on page 2 of this newspaper.
