Dear Queenie,
My husband works all the time and when he gets a day off it is a day I still have to work, so we don’t have much time together. And even with both of us working we can’t catch up with all our bills.
What’s worse is we can’t have a normal conversation. Everything has to be some kind of joke and if I disagree with him about something he gets mad at me.
I don’t think he cheats on me, but I just can’t take much more of this.
Queenie, what do you recommend?—Frustrated wife
Dear Wife,
To start with, you need some kind of financial counselling to help the two of you work out a budget so that you are living within your combined income and paying off your accumulated bills.
Then (as usual) I recommend professional marriage counselling to help you understand and work out your other problems. If your husband will not go with you, go without him to learn how to cope – and whether you really want to continue to do so.
Dear Queenie,
I just started high school this year and there’s this girl I like and I want to get to know her but I never know what to say to her.
Queenie, how do I get started?—Tongue-tied
Dear Tongue-tied,
Start a conversation with her the way you would with any stranger – “Hi, how are you?” Then ask her about something of mutual interest, like your schoolwork. Does she find the homework load too heavy? How does she like this class or that one? Is she interested in sports? Which one(s)?
Once you get to know her a little bit, you will have some idea what to say to her.
Dear Queenie,
My ex-husband and I got divorced years ago because he cheated on me and we hadn’t seen each other since then, but recently we met up again at a friend’s wedding and learned that neither of us has remarried or even had a serious relationship in all those years and we still have feelings for each other.
Queenie, what do you think? Should I take a chance on getting back together with him?—Ex-wife in love
Dear Ex-wife,
That depends on why your ex-husband cheated on you the first time around. If it was because something was lacking in your marriage that your ex looked for elsewhere, and if you both are willing to work this problem out with the help of a professional marriage counsellor, there is a fair chance that remarrying your ex will work out well.
However, if he is simply unable or unwilling to honour his marriage vows, my answer is “NO.”
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend has the same name as my ex-wife and it’s really bugging me.
Queenie, how can I get used to this?—Confused
Dear Confused,
Try calling your girlfriend by a pet name of nickname that is different from your ex-wife’s name. I am sure your girlfriend will be more than willing to help you find something you both like.
However, look at the bright side. You do not have to worry about getting in trouble by calling your girlfriend by your ex-wife’s name. Your girlfriend will never know the difference if you do not tell her you made a “mistake.”
Dear Queenie,
With a one-month-old baby involved, there seems to be no way out for my daughter leaving her psychotic and controlling boyfriend. He is supposed to have scheduled visitation away from my house because of his disrespect and threatening behaviour, yet he still shows up.
Police warned him numerous times, but he makes a mockery of the system. He recently found an apartment, so now he controls her car keys, or he starts flipping when visitation ends, just for her to stay with him.
Now her father, like many others, thinks she is enabling the situation, but he just doesn't listen.
Queenie, being unemployed for one year, do you think he has any rights, and who says visitation must be by his house?—Worried Grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
A lawyer or the Court of Guardianship can advise you concerning parents’ legal rights.
As for your daughter’s relationship with her baby’s father, I suggest you and she consult Safe Haven (office 9277; 24-hour hotline number: 9333 or (721) 523-6400; e-mail address This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or Facebook: SafeHavenSt.Maarten) for advice and assistance.
