Dear Queenie,
My son is just got engaged and they are planning their wedding for later this year. I have a good relationship with my son, but I’m afraid this will change after he gets married.
Queenie, is that old saying true that “A son is a son ’til he gets him a wife”?—Mother-in-law-to be

Dear Mother-in-law-to be,
That probably will depend on the relationship you develop with your son’s wife and you would do well to start working on that now, while she is still his fiancée.
Let your son know you hope he will not drift away from you after he gets married.
And make a special effort to keep on at least civil, better yet friendly terms with his now-fiancée/soon-to-be wife – treat her with respect and as much affection as you can manage, because she is now an important part of his life and will be more so after they are married.

Dear Queenie,
My grandchildren behave beautifully when they are visiting me, but when their parents come to pick them up they start acting like wild animals and their parents don’t say a word to them so I guess that is how they behave at home.
Queenie, should I say something about this to their parents, my son and daughter-in-law?—Worried grandfather

Dear Grandfather,
Apparently your grandchildren have learned that different places have different rules for behaviour and are able to adjust their behaviour accordingly. If they are of school age I would be interested to know how they behave there.
To answer your question: No, do not try to discuss this with your son and daughter-in-law. They will take it as criticism of their parenting methods.
However, be sure to continue to enforce your own rules when the children are with you, so they can continue to learn what is acceptable outside their own home.

Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have offered to take care of his brother’s children when he and his wife want to go out for an evening but they never ask us, they always ask her sister. I could understand if it usually happened, but not every single time.
Queenie, should we ask them why this is?—Ignored aunt and uncle

Dear Aunt and Uncle,
Of course you should ask them, but not in any angry or confrontational manner, just as a simple, civil request for information. And be prepared to accept in good spirit whatever answer they give you.

Dear Queenie,
My mother is vexed because I sent my Dad’s girlfriend that he is living with since he and Mom got divorced a card for Mothers Day. It’s not as if I forgot my Mom, because I took her out to dinner.
But Dad’s girlfriend is like another mother to me and another grandmother to my children. She’s always there to help me out if Mom can’t make it for some reason, she always remembers us on our birthdays and Christmas – like I said, she’s like a second mother to us and I wanted her to know how much I appreciate it.
Queenie, did I do something wrong?—Mothers Day Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
No, you did not. It is never wrong to acknowledge the good things someone has done for you and your children.
Your mother probably blames your father’s girlfriend for the breakup of her marriage and is angry because you do not share her attitude toward the girlfriend.