Dear Queenie,
I haven’t seen my girlfriend from high school in years, but I just found out she has cancer and not very much longer to live.
Queenie, would it be alright to send her flowers and a card? And should I tell my wife?—Undecided

Dear Undecided,
Of course it would be alright to send the flowers and card. But why not tell your wife? In fact, if she also knew this woman back then, put her name on the flowers and card along with yours.
I cannot think of any reason your wife should object to any of this, but if she does, do not do it.

Dear Queenie,
An ex-girlfriend of my husband’s contacted him on Facebook and while he was visiting on his home island he called her and invited her out to lunch. He told me about it when he got home and doesn’t understand why I am vexed.
In the first place, he didn’t tell me ahead of time that he was going to get in touch with her, and he never told her he is married.
Queenie, am I wrong for being vexed or was he wrong for what he did?—Just asking

Dear Just asking,
He was wrong for not telling you ahead of time and for not telling her he is married. But he did tell you afterward, and if you trust him and believe him that it was just lunch and talking about old times, it is not worth getting vexed. However, you can make it clear to him – gently, please – why you are vexed and that you expect him to do better in the future.

Dear Queenie,
Recently I attended an engagement party where a close relative was going to introduce his fiancée to the family. I asked him her clothing size and brought her a nice blouse, but when she opened it she said it was not her favorite color and not her style and she handed it back to me. I returned it to the store and got a refund.
Queenie, should I get her something else to replace the gift she didn’t like?—Gift-giving Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
I suggest you give her the most complete book on etiquette you can find. And in the future just give her money – I am willing to bet she will like the colour and style of that! Or make a donation to a charity in her name.

Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend says it’s rude to interrupt someone when they’re talking, even if you just say “yes” or “uh-huh” or “wow” or something like that. She also thinks if someone is telling you something they have already told you before it’s rude to tell them they have already told you that.
And one time during election time I got one of those phone calls about why I should vote for a certain candidate and she said I was rude when I told them I was not interested and hung up.
Queenie, is she right?—Conversation Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
Saying “yes” or “uh-huh” or “wow” or something like that when someone is talking is simply conversation, to let them know you are listening to them – not rude.
If you have a habit of saying the same things and/or telling the same stories over and over again, invite your girlfriend to tell you when you are repeating yourself, rather than wasting her time and yours on unnecessary repetition.
As for the election-time call, it may have been rude, depending on your tone of voice and the way you hung up, but I cannot say I blame you for doing so, and it may have been what they call a “robocall,” so who was there to be offended?
On the other hand, in your place I would have listened more or less patiently until the caller was finished talking and then said I was not interested, thus costing the candidate time and money, just to spite him or her for bothering me and to keep him/her from bothering anyone else, for a little while at least.