Dear Queenie,
Our daughter has a good job with good pay but she always has a lot of credit card debt. We try to help her out because if we don’t she won’t let us see our grandchildren.
Queenie, how can we get her to not spend so much and to pay up on her debts?—Worried grandparents
Dear Grandparents,
Try get your daughter to talk to a financial advisor, who will help her set up a budget she can afford on her own and who probably will advise her to get rid of all her credit cards. Remind her that you will not always be around to help pay her debts, and if you have to continue doing so, you will not have anything to leave her and her children when you are gone – and what will she do then?
And you might want to set up anything you want to leave to the grandchildren in a trust fund that your daughter cannot get her hands on.
Dear Queenie,
I go to high school and I’m the smartest one in my class. I make jokes about everything, but I am careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings. I read on a university level and have read many of the books that will be assigned when I go to university. I also do volunteer service and I have tried to be friends with the ones no one else seems to like.
My problem is that the ones I thought were my friends say I am not very nice.
Queenie, why would they say that and what can I do about it?—Teenager
Dear Teenager,
You seem very self-centred – every sentence in your letter has the word “I” in it more than once. Your friends may think everything you do is just because you want to be admired.
Try to show interest in what your friends are doing and how they feel about things. Do not make jokes, because your “jokes” may seem sarcastic to your friends. Try to make your friends feel that they are important to you. Most of all, try to develop a sense of humility.
Dear Queenie,
I work at night and have to sleep during the day, get my housework done, sometimes run errands, and just relax for a while and do nothing, but my family and friends are all “day people” and think it is okay to call me or drop in on me whenever I am at home, even though I have explained all this to them and asked them not to.
Queenie, how do I get them to let me get my rest and my “alone time”?—Night person
Dear Night person,
Instead of telling your friends and family when not to call or visit you, give them a specific time(s) when they can do so. The rest of the time, do not answer the phone or open your door. If the person leaves a message or a note, reply to it during the time(s) when the call or visit would be welcome.
Dear Queenie,
Everyone in my family have always been too fat and now that they have families of their own their children are too fat too.
I’m the only one who has tried to control their weight and when I suggest to them that it would be better for their health if they would lose some weight and that I will be glad to help them do it, they just laugh at me and tell me that is how it is in our family.
I know that that is not necessarily true because I manage to keep a healthy weight by keeping to a strict diet and getting lots of exercise.
Queenie, I worry about them. Is there anything I can do for them?—Worried relative
Dear Relative,
Your relatives must want to lose weight before they will even try to do so. All you can do for them is set a good example and let them know you will be there to help them if and when they decide to do it.
Dear Queenie,
I am a single elderly man with only a dog to keep me company, and he is getting older too and needs medical care.
For Christmas last year, instead of giving me anything I really didn’t need anyway, my son arranged with my veterinarian to pay my dog’s medical bills for the rest of his life, and told me that that would go for any other dog I ever have if I get a next one after the one I have now dies.
Queenie, that is the best gift anyone ever gave me!—Dog’s best friend
Dear Best friend,
I think that was a wonderful idea and I am pleased to pass it on to my readers. Even if you cannot afford all the expense, paying even part of it probably would be a big help.
