Dear Queenie,
I’m a divorced woman with children who is dating several different men. I am not interested in a serious relationship and I have told them so, but I do enjoy their company and the things we do together.
My older brother says I need to make a commitment to just one of them or people will not think well of me.
Queenie, is he right?— Like my freedom
Dear Like my freedom,
He may be right about some people, but you are an adult and have to do what you think is best for you. And it will be better to continue to enjoy your freedom than to rush into a relationship that you are not ready for and that might turn out badly, just to please your brother.
Dear Queenie,
Is it really necessary to say “Bless you” when someone sneezes? I think it’s so old-fashioned!
Queenie, is it rude not to say it?—Ah-choo Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Many centuries ago people believed that a person’s soul left their body for a moment when they sneezed and saying “God bless you” would keep the devil from snatching it. I do not think anyone believes that anymore, but it is still considered polite to say “Bless you” or something like it when someone sneezes.
Dear Queenie,
My wife says it’s not right to give people liquor or wine as a gift. I say it’s okay because even if they don’t drink they will have it to serve to guests.
Queenie, what do you say?—Alcohol Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
The only time an alcoholic beverage would be an inappropriate gift is when you know for a fact that the person(s) would not ever drink it, serve it or give it away to someone else (“re-gift” it).
However, if you are not certain, surely you can think of some other impersonal gift. There is always the good old gift certificate – which should be for a very general type of store, such as a supermarket.
Dear Queenie,
Some people I know will knock on the door but they don’t wait for me to answer, they just knock and walk right in. It can be embarrassing if I’m not properly dressed or inconvenient if I’m in the middle of eating or talking on the phone or whatever.
Queenie, shouldn’t they wait until I open the door or at least tell them to come in? And can I say something to them about it?—Entry Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Yes, of course they should wait until you invite them to enter. The simplest solution would be to keep your door locked so they have to wait for you to open it. However, you may prefer to be able to call out “Come in” without having to go and unlock the door for them.
And, yes, you can say to them, “Please wait for me to answer before you come in, in case I am not properly dressed.”
Dear Queenie,
I love to visit my parents and they always ask me to stay with them for a few days, but the walls in their house are thin and sometimes they wake me up when they are having sex.
I’m glad to know they still love each other that way, but it’s embarrassing and I can’t talk to them about it because sex is something we don’t talk about in our family.
Queenie, should I stay at a hotel the next time I visit them?—Embarrassed daughter
Dear Daughter,
If you can afford to stay at a hotel, by all means do so. If your parents ask why, tell them you know they need their privacy. I am sure they will understand what you mean.
However, if you cannot afford a hotel, try investing in a set of earplugs to use while you are sleeping. Unless they actually shake the house when they make love, the earplugs should keep you from being awakened by it.
