Dear Queenie,
My wife says it’s not right to give people liquor or wine as a gift. I say it’s okay because even if they don’t drink they will have it to serve to guests.
Queenie, what do you say?—Alcohol Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
The only time an alcoholic beverage would be an inappropriate gift is when you know for a fact that the person(s) would not ever drink it, serve it or give it away to someone else (“re-gift” it).
However, if you are not certain, surely you can think of some other impersonal gift. There is always the good old gift certificate – which should be for a very general type of store, such as a supermarket.
Dear Queenie,
I love to visit my parents and they always ask me to stay with them for a few days, but the walls in their house are thin and sometimes they wake me up when they are having sex.
I’m glad to know they still love each other that way, but it’s embarrassing and I can’t talk to them about it because sex is something we don’t talk about in our family.
Queenie, should I stay at a hotel the next time I visit them?—Embarrassed daughter
Dear Daughter,
If you can afford to stay at a hotel, by all means do so. If your parents ask why, tell them you know they need their privacy. I am sure they will understand what you mean.
However, if you cannot afford a hotel, try investing in a set of earplugs to use while you are sleeping. Unless they actually shake the house when they make love, the earplugs should keep you from being awakened by it.
Dear Queenie,
I don’t know how many times I’ve called a woman to ask her for a date and when she didn’t answer her phone I left a message on her voicemail but she never called back.
Queenie, shouldn’t they at least call me back, even if they don’t accept my invitation?—Wants RSVP
Dear Wants RSVP,
It depends on how many times you leave that same message and on the message you leave. There is always the possibility that your first message was accidentally erased or that she was just too busy, so you should try at least one more time.
If your message is “Hi. Call me back” and there is no response to message number two she may still be just too busy, but if the message was specifically an invitation for a date the RSVP is pretty clearly “No, thanks.”
Dear Queenie,
I broke up with my boyfriend when he started abusing me and I don’t have anything more to do with him, but I am still close to his parents, who are my daughter’s grandparents.
Now I have found out that I am pregnant again and I just can’t afford to raise 2 children and I don’t know what I am going to do.
Queenie, should I tell his parents so they can tell him?—Single mother
Dear Mother,
Your ex-boyfriend (and his parents) have the right to know about his second child with you, and the Court of Guardianship can help you get child support from him.
You might also try to get counselling to help you decide exactly what you want to do and how to go about doing it.
Dear Queenie,
My mother usually hosts holiday get-togethers for our family, but my husband and I just bought a new home so I offered to host the Christmas party this year as a combination house-warming party.
My mother just said I am not ready to host an event like that because people like to eat good food on the holidays.
Queenie, what do you think of that?—Insulted
Dear Insulted,
I think your mother’s remark was insulting, but perhaps you made her feel like you think she is getting too old and are trying to push her aside.
Tell your mother you are not trying to take her place as holiday hostess and she hurt your feelings with what she said. Then ask her for one or two of her favourite recipes and offer to let her co-host your party at your house – she can be the Christmas hostess and you will be the house-warming hostess.
