Dear Queenie,

  I’m a woman in my 30s and I have dated a lot of men. I always meet them in public for the first few dates and if I like them enough I give them my e-mail address and that’s when things starts to go bad.

  Several of them have sent me sexy or even nude pictures of themselves. When that happens I delete the pictures and stop seeing them and block them from my e-mail, but I can’t help wondering why they think it is okay to do it.

  Queenie, what do you think?—Seen too much

Dear Seen too much,

  I think you should ask yourself what you may be doing or saying to give these “flashers” the idea that you would be pleased to receive such pictures – or at least would not object to it.

Dear Queenie,

  I’m getting married next year and my fiancé wants his best friend to be his best man, but his friend has a long scruffy beard. He is good-looking without the beard but with it he really looks horrible.

  Queenie, is it okay for me to say he can’t be best man unless he shaves his beard?—Bride-to-be

Dear Bride-to-be,

  If you ask him to shave his beard entirely, you risk his refusing and your being labelled a “bridezilla.” Would it be enough for you if he merely trimmed it shorter and brushed it into some semblance of neatness?

Dear Queenie,

  My boyfriend has finished medical school and is working in a women’s health service as part of his residency. What worries me is the way he talks about some of the patients he takes care of and their medical problems and sometimes makes jokes about them.

  I told him I think this is very bad taste, but isn’t it also against medical ethics? Could he get in trouble for it?

  Queenie, should I do something about it?—Worried girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,

  Yes, this is against medical ethics and if your boyfriend’s supervisors find out about it, it could mean the end of his medical career.

  Have you talked to your boyfriend about this and told him how you feel about it and how damaging it could be for him? If not, do so at once.

  Even if you do not talk to him, you probably are not the only one to whom he talks this way and it is very likely that word will get back to his supervisors sooner or later and they will take appropriate action.

Dear Queenie,

  My wife’s son has started many projects but never finishes them. He didn’t even finish high school, so he has trouble getting a job and then he can’t keep it because he just doesn’t finish the work they give him. When this happens he threatens to kill himself, so my wife gives him money until he gets a next job. He never actually has tried to kill himself, but he always talks about it.

  She has given him more money than we can afford, but she won’t try to do anything to help him – or make him – do any better.

  We tried to get him counselling, but he quit that too because he said it didn’t work, and I think it didn’t work because he lied to the counsellor.

  My wife is so unhappy about him and angry with me because I am not sympathetic toward her son.

  Queenie, what can I do to help her?—Worried stepfather

Dear Stepfather,

  You can try to get your son tested for psychological problems like attention deficit disorder. You can also try to get your wife to go with you for family counselling to learn how to deal with your stepson’s problems better, and how to deal with the problems it is causing between you and your wife.