Dear Queenie,
I don’t know how many times I’ve called a woman to ask her for a date and when she didn’t answer her phone I left a message on her voicemail but she never called back.
Queenie, shouldn’t they at least call me back, even if they don’t accept my invitation?—Wants RSVP
Dear Wants RSVP,
It depends on how many times you leave that same message and on the message you leave. There is always the possibility that your first message was accidentally erased or that she was just too busy, so you should try at least one more time.
If your message is “Hi. Call me back” and there is no response to message number two she may still be just too busy, but if the message was specifically an invitation for a date the RSVP is pretty clearly “No, thanks.”
Dear Queenie,
My mother usually hosts holiday get-togethers for our family, but my husband and I just bought a new home so I offered to host the Christmas party this year as a combination house-warming party.
My mother just said I am not ready to host an event like that because people like to eat good food on the holidays.
Queenie, what do you think of that?—Insulted
Dear Insulted,
I think your mother’s remark was insulting, but perhaps you made her feel like you think she is getting too old and are trying to push her aside.
Tell your mother you are not trying to take her place as holiday hostess and she hurt your feelings with what she said. Then ask her for one or two of her favourite recipes and offer to let her co-host your party at your house – she can be the Christmas hostess and you will be the house-warming hostess.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a woman in my 30s, educated and attractive, but it seems like all the men I meet are much younger than I am or kind of stupid or gay.
Queenie, I don’t like hanging out in bars, so how do I meet a nice guy?—Still single
Dear Still single,
You need to meet a lot of guys, many of whom will not meet your requirements, to meet a few who do meet them. Go places, including stopping by a bar or two for “happy hour” and maybe flirting with one or two of the other patrons. Throw parties for your friends and let them know what kind of guy you are looking for so if they know one they can bring him with them. Join a service club and/or community service organisation – not all the male members will be married or otherwise “attached.”
And keep in mind that “uneducated” is not the same as “stupid.”
Dear Queenie,
I’m a vegetarian and when I went to a barbecue at a friend’s house he was kind enough to make some “veggie burgers” just for me. Someone else asked me if I would do the same if I had a party at my house, meaning would I serve meat to my guests. I said “no” and he said that would be selfish of me.
Queenie, was he right?—I don’t eat meat
Dear Don’t eat meat,
Guests who have good manners do not complain about what their hosts do or do not serve at a party. They eat and drink what they like and ignore the rest.
Your friends know you are a vegetarian. As long as you serve plenty of fruits, vegetables and other things your guests will eat, you do not have to serve any kind of meat.
Dear Queenie,
Our daughter has a good job with good pay but she always has a lot of credit card debt. We try to help her out because if we don’t she won’t let us see our grandchildren.
Queenie, how can we get her to not spend so much and to pay up on her debts?—Worried grandparents
Dear Grandparents,
Try get your daughter to talk to a financial advisor, who will help her set up a budget she can afford on her own and who probably will advise her to get rid of all her credit cards. Remind her that you will not always be around to help pay her debts, and if you have to continue doing so, you will not have anything to leave her and her children when you are gone – and what will she do then?
And you might want to set up anything you want to leave to the grandchildren in a trust fund that your daughter cannot get her hands on.
