Dear Queenie,

  There’s this older man where I work who says he likes me a lot. We talk to each other a lot, not always about our work, and sometimes he gives me a treat like a box of candy. He says he likes me very much, but he has never tried to see me away from work.

  Queenie, what’s wrong with him?—Embarrassed co-worker

Dear Co-worker,

  There is nothing wrong with him. Apparently he has a crush on you, but does not intend to take it any further than he already has, possibly because of your age difference – or maybe because he knows or thinks you are married or in a committed relationship.

  If his attentions embarrass you so much, try to avoid him and stop accepting his little treats. Eventually he will get over it.

Dear Queenie,

  My husband and I hosted several family get-togethers over the holidays. Most of our guest came all dressed up, but one relative showed up in his work clothes – jeans and a not-too-clean T-shirt.

  Queenie, would it be alright for us to tell him to dress better in the future, or not to let him in if he is so badly dressed?—Insulted

Dear Insulted,

  It is possible your relative had to come to your get-together direct from his work and did not have time to change his clothes. Nevertheless, he could have taken more appropriate clothes with him to work and changed in a restroom before going to your event.

  It is perfectly acceptable to include a dress code in whatever invitations you issue for these events. Or you could mention to him – gently – that you would appreciate it if he would dress a little better the next time.

Dear Queenie,

  My husband’s parents and brothers and sisters always seem to be broke, or at least short of money, and they always come to my husband for a “loan” that they never get around to paying back.

  A few of them have jobs and can support themselves and still always seem to need more money, but the others depend on us and on government assistance and charity.

  My husband has a good job and earns a good living and he says we are blessed to be able to help them out. I say they should try harder to help themselves. Maybe if he didn’t give them money when they ask for it, the ones without jobs would actually start looking for work.

  As it is, we do not live as well as we could if my husband were not helping his family so much.

  Queenie, am I being too stingy?—Fed-up wife

Dear Wife,

  Generosity may be a good thing, but it can become a fault if carried to an extreme. Your husband is not doing his family members any favour by helping them out so much that they have no incentive to become financially independent of him.

  Perhaps you and he together can set up a budget that includes a specific amount that he can use to help out his family and when that is used up he will just have to say “no” to any requests for any kind of financial assistance – including co-signing a loan or being in any way responsible for credit-card payments.

Dear Queenie,

  My husband never does anything all the way. He leaves his jacket on a chair next to the coat closet or on the doorknob instead of hanging it up in the closet. He takes the trash out and leaves it on the ground next to the bin instead of putting it into the bin.

  Queenie, what’s his problem? And how do I deal with it?—Frustrated wife

Dear Wife,

  Apparently your husband is either easy to distract or just plain lazy.

  You can either complete these tasks for him or remind him what still needs to be done and hope he does it. Either way, I wish you good luck – and patience!