Dear Queenie,

  I had an argument with a couple of friends and stopped seeing them. Recently they have started dropping by my home without calling because they say they want to be friends with me again and they expect me to just let them in and entertain them. Often they come around dinnertime and expect me to ask them to join the family at the table.

  Queenie, how do I get them to stop doing this?—Ex-friend

Dear Ex-friend,

  Possibly your ex-friends are having money problems and are hoping for a free meal. If so, it would be charitable of you to let them join you.

  However, if you do not wish to visit with them, tell them so – as politely as you can manage – and do not let them past the door. You may have to tell them more than one time and you may even have to shut the door in their faces if it is the only way to make them understand.

Dear Queenie,

  I have what I always thought was a good figure, with a slim waist and large breasts. Now I come to find out my boyfriend is turned on by boyish-looking women with flat chests and I understand why he isn’t physically attracted to me. I don’t understand why he stays with me if that’s how he feels.

  Queenie, should I break up with him?—Disheartened

Dear Disheartened,

  That depends on how important the physical side of your relationship is to you, and to him. You should talk this over with him to find out how much it matters to him. If both of you feel there is something missing from your relationship, yes, you should break up.

  And if you do, you probably will have no trouble finding someone who considers your figure gorgeous.

Dear Queenie,

  My father has Alzheimer’s and is living in a nursing home where they take very good care of him. My brother visits him regularly and keeps suggesting I should come to visit him too, but he is so far gone that he wouldn’t even know who I am and I just couldn’t take seeing him like that. I want to remember him the way he was before the Alzheimer’s got him.

  Queenie, is that so bad of me?—His daughter

Dear Daughter,

  This is a matter of showing respect for your father and supporting your brother, who probably is stressed out by his visits to your father.

  He may not recognise you, but I am sure your father will feel the love you have for him, and you can remind yourself of happier times. Even if he does not understand it, this is your chance to give your father a loving farewell.

Dear Queenie,

  My boyfriend has a lot more money than me. He pays for everything and won’t ever let me buy him a treat. He even pays some of my bills without me knowing about it and after we have been together I have even found money in my purse or my jacket pocket that I didn’t put there. If I admire something in a store or mention something I have seen that I liked, he will go and buy it for me.

  I know this sounds great, but it makes me feel like he thinks I am after his money and that I can’t take care of myself, when what I want is to contribute my fair share to our relationship, even if it isn’t as much money as he does.

  Queenie, how do I make him understand?—Not-broke girlfriend  

Dear Girlfriend,

  Your boyfriend seems to be very generous, but he does take things too far. Have you tried to explain to him how all this makes you feel? If not, do so at once, and more than once if necessary.

  If he still does not stop leaving money for you, insisting on paying for everything, buying you things and paying your bills, it may indicate that he has less respect for your feelings than you would like to believe, and likes feeling like a bigshot.

  And the next time you find money he has left for you, donate it to your favourite charity, or to his in his name, and tell him what you have done with the money.