Dear Queenie,
My wife and I moved to the island when I got a good job here. Every year when the time for our grandchildren’s birthdays comes around she gets homesick for where we used to live and starts talking about moving back there. She says I could get a good job back there.
I like it here much better than where we used to live and I like my job here too and I don’t want to go back there except maybe to visit for a few days.
Queenie, how can we work this out?—Harassed husband
Dear Husband,
If you can afford it, perhaps your wife could go “back there” frequently to visit or even to live for part of the year near your grandchildren.
As usual, I recommend professional counselling for the two of you together if you need more help than I can give you to work things out.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter, who is only 15, has been seeing an older man who I happen to know has a criminal record and sells and uses drugs.
Queenie, how can I convince her this guy is really bad for her?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
If your daughter thinks she is “in love” with this man she is not going to like (or listen to) anything negative you say about him. If you are certain that he is selling drugs you could report him to the police.
Meanwhile, I would recommend professional counselling for you and your daughter, to help her learn to make more mature decisions.
Dear Queenie,
A guy I know has really bad teeth. Some of them are missing and others you can see have a lot of decay. And he has really bad breath. He has asked me to go out, but there is no way I want to date him. What if he tried to kiss me?
Queenie, should I tell him to go see a dentist?—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
Tell him politely that you are put off by his bad breath and concerned that the state of his teeth could cause him some other health problems as well, and recommend your own dentist, making a point of telling him how well (and gently) your dentist treats you.
Dear Queenie,
I used to take care of a woman who is disabled and not able to care for herself. During that time I got to know her husband very well.
I don’t work for them anymore, but recently I met her husband while we were shopping at the same store and he said how much he likes me and asked me to go out with him. He said he would never leave his wife because she needs him, but he also wants a kind of companionship she is not able to give him.
Queenie, I like him too. Would it be wrong for us to go out together?—Falling in love
Dear Falling,
Ordinarily I would not condone your getting involved with a married man, but this man is married to a woman who is unable to be a wife to him, so I have mixed feelings about your situation.
Perhaps you should consult a professional counsellor to help you work out your feelings about this matter and decide what you believe is right.
Dear Queenie,
I had a lot of boyfriends when I was young and now I’m afraid I might have caught HIV and I’m afraid I might give it to the guy I’m dating now.
Queenie, what should I do?—Afraid of AIDS
Dear Afraid,
The very first thing you should do is get tested! If you test positive, there are medications that can prevent you from getting AIDS.
And if you test positive, you should tell your current and former boyfriends to get tested too.
