Dear Queenie,

  When there was a better job to be filled in the office where I work I applied for it. They accepted my application and even gave me some special training for the new job. Then when I came back to the office after the training I was introduced to a new employee who had been hired for the job I had applied and trained for.

  I was so upset I almost broke into tears, so I ran out of the building before I started to cry. In the parking lot my supervisor came out and saw me crying.

  Queenie, I’m so embarrassed! How do I talk to my supervisor after him seeing me like this?—Passed over

Dear Passed over,

  You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Your reaction was quite natural.

  However, your supervisor has some explaining to do, about why you were passed over for the job after they accepted your application and even gave you special training for it.

Dear Queenie,

  I recently found out that my husband has been calling, e-mailing and texting a woman he was engaged to many years ago until she dumped him for the man she eventually married. He says they are getting a divorce and he is worried about what will happen to her.

  I think they are planning to get together again after she gets divorced. He says that is not so, but I don’t believe him.

  Queenie, how can I trust him again after all this?—Angry wife

Dear Wife,

  Under the present circumstances it is only natural that you are having trouble trusting him. I recommend professional counselling for help in dealing with this situation and in convincing him that he has to give up contact with his ex-fiancée, or at least stop hiding it from you.

  If he is truly interested in preserving your marriage he will be willing to go with you for counselling (I hope!), but if he will not go with you, go by yourself.

Dear Queenie,

  My mother died several years ago and my father has started dating again. He has a very nice girlfriend and we are glad he is happy again, but he started bringing her to family events (with our blessing) and he doesn’t want us to talk about Mom when she is there, which has gotten to be every time.

  Queenie, how can he expect us to just forget about Mom?—Bereaved son

Dear Son,

  Anyone who dates a widow or widower has to expect that the deceased loved one will be remembered and mentioned from time to time. However, there is a difference between remembering/mentioning and turning every family gathering into a memorial service for the departed.

  Try to make your father’s girlfriend feel welcome at family events, but she in turn will have to try to respect your memories of your mother.

Dear Queenie,

  A friend of mine has fallen in love with a man who visits the island several times a year on business, or so he says.

  I got curious to know more about him so I looked him up on the Internet and discovered that he is married and has children and doesn’t own his own business like he says, but works for a big company in a low-level job.

  Queenie, should I tell her what I found out?—Worried friend

Dear Friend,

  Tell your friend that you found out some things about this man that you think she should know and ask her whether she wants you to tell her what you found out. Most especially, she should be told that he is married, if she does not already know.

  However, be prepared for her to be unhappy, and to not thank you for this probably unwelcome information.