Dear Queenie,
I have some food allergies and have to be careful what I eat, but when I visit my family they keep serving things they know I can’t eat and telling me how good they are and I really should have just a taste.
Queenie, what’s a good way to get them to stop doing this?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
Just say – as sweetly as you manage – “You know I am allergic to that and my doctor has told me not to eat it. Why would you want me to eat something that would make me sick?”
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine had an affair with a married man and it’s not the first time he has cheated on his wife. I happen to know that the wife suspected what was going on, but her husband managed to convince her that it wasn’t so.
Queenie, should I tell her the truth?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
If there is a chance that the man’s wife has caught a sexually transmitted disease from him she should be told about the affair, but other than that stay out of it. Being forced to face the fact that her husband was/is not faithful to her would surely make her angry, and she might be just as angry at you for telling her about it as she is at him for his adultery.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I have been going together for a couple of months and I want us to start living together and think about getting engaged, but she doesn’t seem to be very enthusiastic about the idea. She says we should wait a couple of more months and then talk about it again. That’s a long time to wait and not even be sure anything will happen.
Queenie, how can I get her to start moving along?—Impatient
Dear Impatient,
There is a very good reason for the old saying “Marry in haste, repent at leisure” or in your case “Move in together in haste …”. You get the idea.
Do not press your girlfriend to do anything she is not ready for. That would be begging for an ending you might not like.
Dear Queenie,
My parents are very religious and brought me up in their church. However, when I was in college I started to get interested in how other churches and other religions worship and I learned a lot about them.
Now I am engaged to a man who is of a different faith than my parents and I have been going to his place of worship with him. My parents have noticed that I do not go to church with them anymore and they want to know what I am doing instead.
Queenie, should I tell them the truth or try to cover up what I am doing? I don’t want them to get mad at my fiancé for converting me, because that is not what is happening. I made my own decision.—Daughter
Dear Daughter,
Even if he did not make any effort to convert you, I am sure your feelings for your fiancé had – or will have – some influence on your final decision.
Do not lie to your parents. Sooner or later they would learn the truth and the fact that you had lied to them would only make matters worse. If you have decided to convert to a different religion than theirs, you must have the courage and the strength to stand up for your beliefs – and hope that eventually they will become reconciled to what you have done.
Dear Queenie,
When you go on a date with someone and he says he’ll give you a call and then he never does, what are you supposed to think?
Queenie, why do men say they’ll call and then they never do?—Lady waiting
Dear Lady,
They say they will call because it is kinder – and easier – than saying “Sorry, I didn’t like you and I won’t be seeing you again.”
All you can do is hope for a call, but do not hold your breath or put your life on hold waiting for it. Meanwhile, feel free to do whatever you feel like doing, including dating other guys.
