Scared wife

Dear Queenie,

  My husband gets distracted by what is going on in the car when he is driving, like whatever conversation we are having, and then he drives carelessly because he is paying more attention to what is going on in the car than what is going on on the road. It’s a wonder he hasn’t ever had – or caused – an accident.

  Queenie, how can I get him to pay more attention to his driving?—Scared wife


Dear Wife,

  The fact that your husband has never had or caused an accident makes me suspect he is paying more attention to his driving than you think, and that his apparent inattention is an abusive  form of bullying he uses to get you to agree with whatever he wants.

  To begin with, you can refuse to let him drive you anywhere. Either you do the driving (and do not let him distract you from it), or you make other transportation arrangements.

  Professional marriage counselling also might help, if you can persuade him to go with you – but, again, either you do the driving or you go in separate vehicles.