Etty Ket

Dear Queenie,

  When someone invites you to a party at a restaurant, like for a birthday, who is expected to pay for the food? And if you have to pay for your own food, are you still expected to bring a gift?—Etty Ket


Dear Etty Ket,

  The host of an event is supposed to pay for it, including one held at a restaurant, but these days some people do not realise this or just do not care.

  Feel free to not accept such invitations, or, if a gift is expected, to adjust what you spend on the gift to allow for what you will have to pay to attend the event. And if anyone complains about the “size” of the gift, you can explain that it was all you could afford after having to pay your restaurant bill.