Wedding invitee

Dear Queenie,

  I’ve been invited to a wedding and the invitation has a note asking for a gift of money to help pay for their new house, as they already have lots of things they really don’t need.

  Queenie, is this some new kind of etiquette?—Wedding invitee


Dear Invitee,

  It is not any kind of etiquette, but it is happening more and more often these days. Feel free to oblige, or not, as you choose, depending on how you feel about the people involved.

  And if you do not attend the wedding you are not obliged to send any gift whatsoever, although you might consider making a donation to charity in the name of the happy couple and letting them know you have done so.