Dear Queenie,

  I used to have a full-time job, but I quit when our first child was born to be a stay-at-home mother. Since our family income is now a lot less I try to watch what I spend and keep to a budget, but my husband keeps reminding me that he is now the only one bringing in any money and he complains whenever I buy anything, even groceries or clothes for the kids.

  Queenie, why does he do me this way?—Full-time Mom

Dear Mom,

  Your husband may feel under pressure and may resent being the only wage-earner. Is he familiar with your budget and the fact that you keep to it? Knowing this might take some of the pressure off him.

  You could also tell him that you would consider going back to work full-time if he would hire a caregiver for your children – and make sure he understands just how much a satisfactory caregiver would have to be paid.

Dear Queenie,

  I just had a baby boy and I want to name him Philip John after my uncle who died not long ago, but my aunt, my uncle’s widow, wants to keep that name for her daughter to name her baby when she has a boy, who will be my uncle’s grandson.

  Queenie, should I give my baby a different name?—Niece in mourning

Dear Niece,

  It often happens, especially in large families, that several children are named after the same deceased relative. However, this often leads to some confusion, especially if the children are all about the same age.

  Why not name your son John Philip in honour of your uncle? Then your cousin can name her son Philip John and you both will have honoured her father, both in naming your sons after him and in respecting his widow’s wishes – and you will have reduced the possibilities of any confusion.

Dear Queenie,

  My parents are always telling me that I have to learn to think for myself and not just go along with whatever everyone else believes, but then when I disagree with them (my parents) about something they get mad at me.

  Queenie, why don’t they stick to what they tell me?—Teenager

Dear Teenager,

  Obviously your parents consider themselves in a different category than “everyone else” and expect you to conform to whatever they (your parents) are trying to teach you, especially when it comes to matters like religion.

  Even if you do not agree with what someone else believes, you should treat their beliefs with respect just as you would expect them to respect your beliefs, but even if they do not – especially when it comes to matters of religion, and most especially your parents.

Dear Queenie,

  When my husband and I were first going together he was always there for me if I needed something. Now we are married he is always ready to help a relative or a neighbour fix their car or something around their house, but if I ask him for any kind of help he is always too busy. And when we go to a party or other social event he leaves me sitting by myself while he visits with everyone else and if I ask him to include me he tells me to stop nagging him.

  Queenie, what made him change?—Neglected wife

Dear Wife,

  Your husband did not change. When you were first going together he was doing his best to make a good impression on you. Now that he feels secure with you he does not feel any need to make such an effort.

  When you need something fixed or some work done around the house, hire a mechanic or a handyman. As for your social life, do not depend on him. Get involved in local activities and social organisations.

  Hopefully, when your husband starts to think you are not so dependent on him for help and socialising, he will become more helpful and attentive again – and even if he does not, you will not miss his helpfulness and attention so much.