Abused wife

Dear Queenie,

  My husband calls me nasty names when we argue, which is a lot, and nothing I do ever pleases him, he always criticizes it in some way. I have told him how much this hurts my feelings, but he says I deserve it because I always do something to make him angry.

  He won’t go for counselling because he doesn’t think there is any problem with how he treats me.

  Queenie, if he really thinks I’m so terrible, why does he stay with me?—Abused wife


Dear Wife,

  Your husband’s verbal abuse is his way of controlling you and there is a real risk that it may escalate into physical abuse. Let your family and friends know how he behaves, and I hope you can count on them for support.

  Even though your husband refuses to get counselling, get counselling for yourself to learn how to cope with his behaviour and to decide whether you would be better off leaving him – and if so, how to do so safely.