Dear Queenie,
My mother-in-law takes care of my children, her grandchildren, when I am at work. When she can’t for some reason, she has her other son, my husband’s brother, look after them. I don’t like this because he is not a responsible person and he smokes pot a lot.
Queenie, do I have to accept this or, without being rude, how do I tell her not to do it?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Tell your mother-in-law how much you appreciate her watching your children, and ask her to tell you when she cannot do it so that you can make another arrangement. If she asks you why, tell her frankly that it is because you are (validly!) concerned about having your brother-in-law do it and, if necessary, explain why.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been going together for about 3 years. Recently we spent a weekend at a hotel and every time he had to pay for something he asked me to help him with some money. I wasn’t expecting that and didn’t plan to spend so much. He has promised to pay me back, but I don’t know when.
Queenie, is it wrong of me to feel bad about this?—Angry girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Your boyfriend should have talked to you beforehand about what he could afford to spend on this romantic weekend, and asked you what you could afford to contribute. I do not blame you for not feeling good about this.
Dear Queenie,
I like to cook and I try hard to get everything I cook just right according to the recipe, but my husband just dumps a lot of hot sauce on everything without even tasting it first.
Queenie, is he being rude or do I just get insulted too easily?—Angry wife
Dear Wife,
Maybe a little of both. It could be that your husband just loves the taste of hot sauce and does not think anything without it has any flavour.
Try asking him to at least taste your food first before he drenches it in hot sauce.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been together for several years and I love him so much, but I still sometimes flirt with other guys just for fun. I only flirt, it never goes any farther, but I do feel guilty about it.
Queenie, how do I make myself stop doing this?—Can’t stop flirting
Dear Can’t stop flirting,
Ask yourself why you do this and how you would feel if you lost your boyfriend because of your flirting. If you are trying to prove to yourself that you are still attractive, let your boyfriend’s devotion be proof enough or you may (probably will!) lose him.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and my sister’s husband were always good friends since before we all got married, and they continued to be even after we got divorced, so my sister and her husband continue to invite my ex, along with his new wife, to their family events even if I’m going to be there, so sometimes I have to see him and her there.
Queenie, is this right?—Offended divorcee
Dear Divorcee,
Your sister’s and her husband’s friendships are not really any of your business. If they were always friends with your ex you cannot expect them to stop seeing him just because you divorced him.
You can ask everyone not to invite your ex to functions that you will attend, but if you and your ex had children together you can expect to see him and his new wife at family functions now and then, so it would be best if you can learn to put up with them and try to enjoy the event in spite of their presence. After all, you may have divorced him, but your children did not.
