Dear Queenie,
When my youngest child went away to college, I was lonely, so I let my boyfriend move in with me. My youngest was staying with his older sister and her family while he was at school, but of course he came home for summer vacation. My daughter and her children came too, as we hadn’t seen each other for a long time.
After they were here for about a week my boyfriend said our “guests” had overstayed their welcome and I should tell them it was time to leave. I said they were my children and grandchildren and that made them part of our family and if he didn’t like it he could leave.
We have been arguing about this ever since they left, which was when my son went back to school.
Queenie, who is right?—Ready to throw him out
Dear Ready,
As long as your son is in school and dependent on you, your home is his home and he cannot be considered a guest in his own home. As for your older children who are out on their own, they – and their children – should be welcome in your home for as long as you are willing to have them visit.
As for your boyfriend, even if he is contributing to the expenses of the home, he is the guest and had better be careful he doesn’t wear out his welcome.
In fact, if you feel he is trying to cut you off from your family, which could be a sign that he is a control freak and potentially abusive, you might very well be happier – and safer – if you tell him it is time for him to leave.
