Dear Queenie,
There are a lot of things I would like to talk to my Mom about, like sex and boys and grownup stuff, but she gets all embarrassed and so do I and we never really get to talk about them.
Queenie, how can I get over being embarrassed so we can really talk?—Shy teenager
Dear Shy teenager,
Part of the reason you get embarrassed is probably because you are aware of her embarrassment and respond in kind. It’s too bad a mother and daughter can’t be more open with each other.
Try to schedule a time every day, or at least once or twice a week, when the two of you will sit down together and talk about whatever is on your minds. Agree in advance that you will talk openly about whatever comes up, no matter how embarrassed you feel.
Very often it is much easier for a shy person to talk freely and openly when he/she cannot see the other person. That is why telephone help lines are so popular and so helpful.
If you are both so shy that you just can’t bring yourselves to talk freely at first, try sitting back-to-back or talking on the phone. Or, if you both have access to a computer, try e-mailing each other or meeting in a chat room.
I hope you will both soon be able to relax enough to talk face-to-face.
