Dear Queenie,
My wife has a part-time job, but money is a problem these days and I need for her to get a full-time job, or at least one that pays better, but when I try to talk to her about it she gets mad and says I’m calling her lazy.
She’s not lazy. She works hard and takes care of the house and our daughter, but we don’t have any savings and with the rent we have to pay and the prices of things these days we just need more money.
Queenie, how can I make my wife understand?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
Don’t talk to your wife about getting a full-time job. Sit down with her and make up a family budget, starting with your combined income and the amount of money you think you should be putting away in savings every payday. Once she understands your financial situation clearly you can start discussing ways to improve it.
It may even turn out that you are the one who should get a better job. After all, if your wife goes to work full-time, you may have the added expense of childcare for your daughter while both her parents are at work.
Dear Queenie,
My husband talks on the phone and sometimes even reads text messages while he is driving if there is no other traffic.
Queenie, is this legal?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
Of course, it is not legal! And it is very dangerous.
A driver should always have his eyes and his full attention on the road, even if there is no other traffic. There is always the possibility of a stray animal or other object running/falling/rolling/blowing across the road, or a pothole, that might cause him to lose control if he is the least bit distracted.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter got pregnant by a man she was dating, but she was not serious about him and they broke up when he found out she was pregnant. She had an abortion because she can barely support herself and she knew she could not afford to support a child too.
Queenie, she knows I do not approve of abortion. How can I support her when what she did goes against what I believe in?—Religious mother
Dear Mother,
Your daughter has her own beliefs and reasons for what she did. Hopefully, your religion allows you to support your child even if she does not share your beliefs.
If you need help in dealing with all this, perhaps your pastor can help or can refer you to someone for professional counselling.
Dear Queenie,
I have a pistol that I keep always loaded and locked up in a safe place in the house. When we hired a sitter recently when we went out for an evening, my wife told her about the gun because she thought she had a right to know.
I think she shouldn’t have mentioned it, because it was locked up where the sitter couldn’t find it or get to it. This may even put us in danger, because how do we know she won’t mention it to someone who might break in and try to steal it?
Queenie, what do you think?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
I think you are right. This kind of information should not be shared.
Dear Queenie,
When my unmarried daughter died I was left with her toddler son. I love my grandson, but I’m almost 60, not married, and it’s a strain. My friends my own age have their own interests and my boyfriend, who is much younger than me, broke up with me, and I don’t get any time for myself because as soon as I look away the kid gets into some kind of mischief.
Queenie, HELP!—Overwrought grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
Can the child’s grandfather (your ex-husband?) and/or the boy’s other grandparents help by looking after him now and then so you can have some free time? What about the boy’s father? He should at least be paying support for his son, which would help you pay for day-care or a babysitter if you need financial assistance. And soon enough the boy will be old enough to go to school every day, which will also give you some relief.
