Dear Queenie,
My grown-up son lives on his own except when he runs out of money and then he comes running home to me for help.
He is an attractive man and has no problem finding women who like him and let him take advantage of them, and then when he breaks up with them they come to me to help them get back together with him.
Queenie, how can I get him to do better for himself and for all those women?—Unhappy mother
Dear Mother,
As long as you keep “helping” your adult son with money he will never take the trouble to learn to do for himself. It is far past time you learned to say “no” to him and insist that he fend for himself.
And as long as you spend time listening to the women who turn to you for help with their problems with your son, they will continue to “cry on your shoulder”. Again, it is time for you to learn to say “no” to them too. Tell them to look for professional counselling and hang up on them (or push them out the door if you have let them come into your home).
