Dear Queenie,
My daughter is a good worker and she has a job to support herself, but her boyfriend has never worked at anything, not while he was in school or since he graduated from college.
They have been living with his parents and now they are planning to get married and they want me to pay for the wedding. I’m sure they love each other, but I think she shouldn’t marry this guy until he has had a job for a good while and has proved that he can take care of her and any children they might have.
Queenie, what do you think?—Worried father
Dear Father,
I think you have every reason to be worried. Tell them they will have to pay for the wedding themselves. It should give them a good introduction to financial reality, assuming – no, hoping – that her boyfriend’s parents do not step in financially.
Later on, if the marriage lasts and they start thinking about buying a home, you can give them the money you might have spent on their wedding to help with the down payment.
