Dear Queenie,
I’ve been living with a man for 6 years but I’m not in love with him. He’s my best friend, but we’re not in love. I don’t think we ever were. We moved in together because it was cheaper than having two homes. We’re both in our 40s and we’re just like an old married couple except we don’t have sex.
I don’t want to hurt him because I think a lot of him, but I want some romance in my life.
Queenie, what should I do?—Wants more out of life
Dear Wants more,
For sure you won’t find “romance” with anyone else as long as you are living with your friend. On the other hand, you wouldn’t want to end this relationship only to find yourself totally alone and lonely for your best friend.
The first thing you should do is talk things over with your housemate. You may find that he is feeling the same way you do and it’s time for both of you to move on separately. Or you may find that a frank discussion will lead your present relationship in a more romantic direction.
Don’t deny the possibility. Many a good marriage has been built on the basis of a solid friendship, and sometimes “romance” isn’t as wonderful as you expect it to be.
