Dear Queenie,
I’ve finally landed a leadership role at work, something I’ve dreamed about since school. But every success feels shadowed by worry: what if I can’t keep it? What if I slip up and everyone hears about it? What if I let down my community, my mentors, my parents?
In St. Maarten, pride is big, but so is reputation. People watch. They talk. I want to celebrate, but I’m scared of the fall, especially as a woman. I don’t even want to post updates on my social media or professional networks such as LinkedIn.
Is self-doubt just fear of failure, or something deeper? My sleep is affected by the worry of falling on my face. Maybe I need to just be quiet.
Queenie, please help me with some perspective. —Good News, Hard Heart
Dear Good News, Hard Heart,
Fear of success and fear of falling are very real in small communities like ours. On an island, achievement rarely happens quietly. When you rise, people notice. Some celebrate you. Some observe. A few may wait to see if you stumble. That visibility can feel heavier than the promotion itself.
In St. Maarten, pride is big, but so is reputation. Success can feel less like a personal milestone and more like a public event. And for women especially, leadership often comes with added scrutiny. Are you too ambitious? Too visible? Too confident? The pressure may not always be spoken, but it is felt. Yet the strongest pressure is often internal.
What you are describing sounds very much like imposter syndrome, that persistent doubt that ques
