Dear Queenie,
I’m 13 and there is this boy I like a lot. I want to invite him for dinner or something so my parents can get to know him, but my mother won’t let me because she says I’m too young to be interested in boys and I can’t start dating until I’m at least 16, so what’s the point?
Queenie, I don’t want to date him, I just want to be friends and maybe when I’m older we can go out, but how can I get my mother to understand?—Still Mama’s little girl
Dear Mama’s little girl,
At 13 you are old enough to start being interested in boys, but your mother is probably hoping that if she says “no” she can put the issue off for a while. Big mistake! You are also approaching the age when most children start to feel independent and to rebel against too many restrictions.
A parent who is too strict is almost begging his/her teenager to sneak around behind his/her back. A better approach is to allow a limited amount of freedom with certain conditions attached.
Your wish to have your parents meet this boy and get to know him is admirable and shows a maturity beyond your years. Your willingness to wait to start going out with him speaks well for you as well.
Your mother would be wise to allow you to see him in your home when she is present and where she can supervise your relationship. Perhaps by the time you are ready to start dating, she will have learned to trust your sense of responsibility. You can tell her what I have said, perhaps by showing her this column.